MANILA, Philippines?Host: What is the best way to make sure that a marriage will last for a long time?

Guest: Above all, don?t hold any grudgeges.

(?That?s a lot of grudges!)

***

Host: We keep getting different reports, so what?s the real score? Are you and your girlfriend getting married this year, or not?

Guest: Yes?probably?siguro.

(Hey, that?s really definite!)

***

Host: How can you tell if the President is getting angry?

Guest: By the way she that conversates, you actually know that she?s already angry.

(Conversates? Congratulations, you?ve just coined a new word.)

Famous father

Host: What don?t we know about your famous father? For example, for the viewers? benefit, ano?ng favorite food ni Dad?

(Why would knowing that be of ?benefit? to us?)

***

Host: Bakit golf ang napiling sport ni Presidente?bakit hindi basketball?

(Obvious ba?)

***

Film awards presenter: The Best Supporting Actress goes to is?(name of actress)!

(No comment!)

***

Host: Is it true that there are more overwieght people now?

Guest: Yes, unfortunately, ang mga obesity natin, dumadami.

(No comment na naman...)

***

Host: What is the objective of your rally?

Guest: From experience, we know that the only way to get action from our officials is if they are pushed into the wall.

(Huwag naman, baka mapisa ang official.)

***

Host: Bakit hindi pumasok si (name of TV colleague)?

Cohost: Namamaga daw ang ngipin.

(Ouch!)

Difference

Host: What is the difference between the palikero and the babaero?

Guest: It?s all because of gender, e?pag palikero, lalaki; pag babaero, babae.

(?Huh?)

***

Host: Why are you mounting your campaign against teen gangs in your neighborhood?

Guest: Because they?re dangerous.

Host: Why are they dangerous?

Guest: Because they have arms!

(No comment pa rin!)

***

Host: When will you announce your decision to run for senator?

Guest: Hopefully, in the soon future.

(Don?t run for senator?please!)