LOS ANGELES—“Iron Man” becomes a black actor who once won an Oscar Best Actress award.

No errors in that lead line. After we enjoyed Robert Downey Jr. as “Iron Man,” we are really looking forward to seeing him in “Tropic Thunder,” a comedy where “everything goes wrong during the making of a big budget war movie and the actors end up becoming the commandos they are playing.”

Actor Ben Stiller, who directs, co-writes and produces, also stars in what promises to be one of the funniest films of the year, based on its premise. “Tropic Thunder” and a Judd Apatow-written movie, “Pineapple Express,” which features James Franco and Seth Rogen, are creating good comic buzz.

Fil-Am Reggie Lee is also in the cast of “Tropic Thunder.”

In a recent press con, just hearing Robert describe “Tropic Thunder” and his role fans our anticipation for the film.

Complex and ridiculous

“I can’t tell you all about the movie because it’s really complex and ridiculous,” said Robert. “But it’s essentially about a bunch of self-important Hollywood A-listers who get together to do a very important Vietnam movie. It’s the stupidest story I have ever been a part of. It’s so stupid that it’s brilliant.”

He rattled off the names in major and cameo roles: Nick Nolte, Jack Black, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Cruise, Tobey Maguire and Ben Stiller. Brandon T. Jackson plays someone named Alpa Chino.

“It’s definitely one for the books,” Robert enthused. “I play an Australian five-time Oscar winner, including Best Actress for my role as Gloria Steinem. My character in the movie has decided I was more suited to play the role of the black army sergeant than Don Cheadle was, so I promptly snatched the role away from him. I went to Singapore and got an extensive skin pigmentation job done. I am now officially a black American. And that’s just the acceptable, least disgusting part of the movie.”

Three great actresses
A recent morning spent with three great English actresses Imelda Staunton, Judi Dench and Eileen Atkins, who star in BBC’s acclaimed miniseries “Cranford,” was a wonderful experience because they were all brimming with British wit.

Based on the Victorian-era writings of Elizabeth Gaskell, “Cranford” is set in an English village in the 1840s as it grapples with romances, sudden death, parties, bankruptcy and the drama of encroaching industrialization. Judi and Eileen are elderly spinsters who anchor the community while Imelda is the town gossip.

Judi (known to the younger set as M, 007’s boss, in the latest James Bond movies) and Eileen, first played siblings almost 50 years ago in a live British TV drama in 1959. Imelda, who played Dolores Umbridge in the last “Harry Potter” movie, is a baby compared to Judi and Eileen.

Below are some amusing exchanges with the actresses in separate but press cons.

Judi Dench

On why she agreed to appear in the James Bond movies: “A) I was asked. B) it was the first M who was a woman. My husband said it was irresistible for him to think he’s living with a Bond woman.

“But seriously, my passion is the theater. Now, I have an incredible fan base of men between the ages of 10 and 15. If they watch James Bond films, they might then go to the theater.”

Reacting to a reporter who praised her as a “living legend,” Judi smiled and said, “Well, those are your words. Who was it who said that he is a legend in his lunchtime?”

On the prospect of singing and appearing in the film adaptation of the stage musical, “Nine,” with the likes of Sophia Loren, Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz and possibly, Nicole Kidman: “It’s absolutely terrifying. I put it to the back of my mind. I am sure it’s (the movie project) going to happen.”

Imelda Staunton

Her impact as Prof. Umbridge: “The kids are a little bit frightened of me, I have to admit. But within eight seconds, they know it isn’t the same woman they’re meeting. Actually, a lot of kids don’t really recognize me from ‘Harry Potter’ but I like the effect that my character has occasionally on children.”

Told that Judi has worked with Vin Diesel (almost unthinkable but true, in “The Chronicles of Riddick”), Imelda, flashing a wicked smile, countered with: “Well, I’ve worked with Steven Seagal, my darling.”

When a reporter begged, “You must share that,” Imelda quipped, “I can’t do it, darling. I have to kill you.”

And now, Imelda co-stars with another great American actor, Burt Reynolds. She was willing to talk about this one: “It’s an English film called ‘A Bunch of Amateurs’ directed by Andy Cadiff who’s an American. Burt Reynolds plays a fading star.”

Imelda said that in the movie, Burt’s agent tells him that Stratford is doing “King Lear”: “I think you should do ‘King Lear’ because you need to get your career back on.”

“So Burt comes over to England,” Imelda continued. “Of course, it isn’t the Royal Shakespeare Company at Stratford-upon-Avon. It’s an amateur dramatic society in the village of Stratford St. John. He’s absolutely furious that we’re an amateur company. But we are delighted because we’re trying to raise money for the theater.

“That’s the premise of the story. It’s a comedy. I play the owner of a bed and breakfast inn that Burt stays in and he is not at all impressed by my full English breakfast. I play a character who’s very flustered to be around him.”

Eileen Atkins

On being virtually the only English thespian who has not appeared in the “Harry Potter” films: “I’m the only person with an odd face in England who has not been in the ‘Harry Potter’ movies.”

Don’t her grandkids bug her to star in the hugely successful movie series? “Oddly enough, I don’t have grandchildren but I think it’s probably because I don’t have children. That may be a reason.”

When a reporter asked how her experience was in the play “Proof” (the journalist actually had “Doubt” in mind): Eileen pretended to be relieved as she said, “Oh, I suddenly got awfully worried. I thought I am getting so old that I don’t remember what I’ve been in.”

On Judi: “She has a massive love of life and on top of that, that lucky bitch can sleep whenever she wants to. Napoleon, Churchill, Mrs. Thatcher and Judi Dench—they can sleep anywhere.”

More on Judi, whom she adores as a friend and as a person: “I thought, well, I suppose, she and I are both so old now. I suppose neither of us will ever turn gay. But maybe she would adopt me.”

About finally winning a BAFTA (British Academy of Film and Television Arts) Best Actress award over Judi (both were nominated for “Cranford”): “I’d love to say that Judi tried to stab me in the ladies room after I won. Or that she threw her soup all over me at the dinner afterward but no, Judi has nine BAFTAs. I had none and now, I have one. I would have been utterly happy had Judi gotten the award. I’ve never been jealous of Judi. I can’t imagine that she spent even a second being jealous of me.

“I have been annoyed at some actresses who got parts that I thought they shouldn’t have gotten. I’ve never felt that with Judi and I know she never felt that with me. So we’re rather boring. There’s no rivalry. Sorry about that.”

E-mail the columnist at rvnepales_5585@yahoo.com and read his blog, “The Nepales Report,” on http://blogs.inquirer.net/nepalesreport.