MANILA, Philippines - The task of nursing her late husband, Rudy Fernandez, and his death has taken a toll on actress Lorna Tolentino’s own health.
Rudy passed away in July after a two-year battle with cancer. He was 56.
“I’m currently under medication. I’m even taking some of the medicines that my husband took,” said Lorna who, at press time, is on a two-week pilgrimage to Israel with her sons Ralph, 23, and Renz, 21, and a few relatives.
Lorna, who has been experiencing severe "tension headaches," said her neurologist found swollen blood vessels and arteries in her brain. “The doctor said I can’t have intense emotions,” she added. “I guess I’ve gotten used to keeping the pain to myself because Rudy did not want to see me cry. Pinanghihinaan kasi s’ya ng loob.”
The actress has a neck injury to boot, and is undergoing therapy. “I took care of Rudy for two years. I even helped carry him when I could,” she recalled.
Pain, fulfilment
Lorna added that talking about losing Rudy has brought her pain and fulfillment in equal parts. “By discussing it, I get to share my experiences with others. It’s a way of enlightening them, especially those who may be experiencing the same thing. But the loneliness still gets the better of me when I’m home alone.”
Quoting Elizabeth Kübler-Ross’ book “On Death and Dying,” Lorna said she still can’t say which of the five stages of mourning — denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance— she’s at right now. “It may sound like I’ve accepted Rudy’s passing, but when I see things that remind me of him, I go right back to denial stage.”
However, Lorna said, Rudy’s death does not stop her from loving and living. “Maraming nagmamahal sa akin. I have my kids. I want to stay alive for them.”
Like boyfriends
She said Ralph, a graduate of filmmaking and psychology at the Ateneo de Manila University, has become the “man of the house.” Ralph is helping Lorna with her business dealings. “He was with me when I sat down with ABS-CBN to discuss the network’s offer,” she said. (She has not decided whether or not to leave GMA 7 for the Kapamilya network.)
Renz, who is taking up Philosophy at the University of the Philippines, is “very serious with his studies,” LT said.
“We take care of one another. Ralph and Renz are like my boyfriends, checking on me every hour. They are the only two people who know what I’m going through. This has made our bond stronger than ever.”
The three of them are featured in a forthcoming series of TV commercials for PLDTMyDSL, whose theme is maintaining close family relationships.
LT also recently renewed her contract with the beauty clinic Flawless and is currently endorsing its Re Fine skin laser treatment. She is also set to co-produce an inspirational CD that will benefit cancer patients who cannot afford expensive medicines and are having a hard time with chemotherapy. “I will personally pick the songs and do the narration,” she said.
Some of those that will surely be in the collection are “If It’d Be Your Will,” “Far From Home,” “Let it Be,” and Michael Jackson’s version of “I’ll Be There.”
Talks with Daboy
She hopes Rudy’s friends Johnny Delgado, Christopher and Melissa de Leon, Bobot Mortiz, Phillip Salvador, Tirso Cruz III and Senators Jinggoy Estrada and Bong Revilla will agree to sing in the album to be produced by Star Records, the recording arm of ABS-CBN.
“Life is so much harder now that Rudy is gone. All of a sudden, I’m both the mother and father. I suddenly have to decide on a lot of things. Ang sarap pala ng buhay ko when he was still around,” Lorna sighed.
All that said, LT still gets to take a break from work. She was recently in Zambales with her sons and her bosom friend, actress Isabel Rivas.
“I talk to Rudy a lot, especially whenever I’m in the bathroom. It’s part of my therapy,” the actress confides. “I hope to impart to others what I’ve learned from that experience. But I know that before I can help others heal, I first have to help myself.”
Email mcruz@inquirer.com.ph
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