HOST: How excited were you when you went to the States for the first time?
Guest: When the first time I saw snow, my stomach almost fell out!
(Wow, you were that excited, huh?)
***
Host: Any greetings before we go?
Guest: Yes, I want to greet happy birthday to my sister and my uncle. Everybody is celebrating birthday this month!
(Well, we wouldn?t say everybody...)
***
Host: What is your prediction about unemployment figures for the first quarter?
Guest: There will be more people who will lay jobs.
(As in, literally lay? Ay, nangitlog...)
Appetizers
Host: What appetizers are you preparing for us in today?s show?
Guest: I?ll show you how to make tasty mortals of asparagus and shrimp with pickles.
(Eat the chef, yum-yum?)
***
Host: Was it love at first sight for you and your girlfriend?
Guest: For me, yes. The first time I saw her, I knew she?ll gonna marry me one day!
(Not if her English teacher has any say on the matter.)
***
Host: What are your other plans for the commuting public?
Guest: We are putting up more wetting shades for the benefit of the public.
(One man?s waiting shed is another?s...)
***
Host: What is your advice to worried people today?
Guest: The times are hard, but we can still hope and dream. Remember, kahit libreng tao, may karapatang mangarap.
(Ah, ni-rumble mo yata...)
***
Host: What?s your latest weather news?
Weather reporter: Tomorrow, there will be a cold front that will bring much needed mountains.
(Uh, please translate?)
***
Host: Did the criminal get away?
Remote reporter: Yes, but not before he injured a bystander who tried to seduce him.
(That was some fast operator!)
***
Host: Are you happy to be in this show?
Guest: Yes, of course, especially because, in the first, starring ko ito.
(Ah, OK...)
Good job
Host: Do you think Obama is doing a good job on his first 50 days?
Guest: Definitely, I think he?s a very well job done.
***
Host: If you had a foreign guest, where in the Philippines would you take him?
Guest: I would take him to see the Chocolate Hills in Bicol.
(Uh, those are the Sapin-sapin Mountains. The famous Chocolate Hills are in Bohol.)
***
Host: How have you succeeded despite the tough times?
Guest: By hard work and patient!
(?Not necessarily in that order.)
