MANILA, Philippines??I am a communicator [by profession], but I have to admit there were instances when I failed to communicate,? broadcaster and TV news anchor Ted Failon said of his relationship with his wife, Trinidad ?Trina? Etong, who committed suicide in April.

Failon reported back to work yesterday as host of the morning news/commentary program ?Tambalang Failon at Sanchez? on ABS-CBN?s TeleRadyo dzMM. The first half of the two-hour show turned into an emotional recounting of the events following his wife?s hospitalization and subsequent death.

On May 22, the National Bureau of Investigation concluded its probe of the case with an announcement that a major depressive disorder had driven Etong to put a gun to her head on April 15 at their Quezon City home. She died the next day at New Era General Hospital in Quezon City.

In yesterday?s broadcast, Failon rued that he?d been so engrossed in his career and looking after his family financially that he didn?t spend enough time with his wife.

Speaking alternately in English and Filipino, his voice breaking intermittently, Failon explained: ?You become too comfortable with each other sometimes. You think all is well... you?ll make up for lost time when you retire... [The truth is] constant communication from the start is required [and] preparation for future comforts and financial well-being should not always take priority.?

His situation has changed vastly, he said. ?There?s so much missing now... [In my shoes] another person may have broken down. Without all the support I received, I myself may have ended up at the National Center for Mental Health.?

The broadcaster paused to drink some water (something he would do throughout the program) and continued: ?This morning was my youngest child?s first day in high school. You watch your daughter walking away in her new uniform... wouldn?t you think of someone who should also be there, watching with you??

Failon and Etong were married 25 years.

After rushing his wife to the hospital on that fateful day, Failon said he directed his attention to breaking the bad news to his daughters Kaye, 23, and Karishna, 13. Kaye was in Cebu at the time, where she?s enrolled at the American-run International Academy for Film and Television.

Failon also resumed his anchor job on dzMM?s 7 a.m. newscast yesterday, 53 days after he filed for a leave of absence.

Clad simply in a white round-neck T-shirt and blue jeans, and wearing dark glasses, Failon arrived at the newsroom around 6 a.m. In one corner hung a streamer that read, ?Welcome back, Ted!?

Related writer Shiela Marcelo: ?He asked for his script and rehearsed by reading it aloud. He looked very excited to be back.?

Later, before he went on air for ?Tambalan,? Failon met with the staff. ?He said he?d like to talk about his experience for a bit, if it was okay with us.? Marcelo said. ?We all agreed. Everyone was expecting to hear something from him anyway.?

Words of support from listeners came in the form of text messages, said Marcelo. ?He asked us to have all the messages printed out. We gathered some 30 pages and he said he would have them framed.?

Failon?s ?Tambalan? co-host, Korina Sanchez?currently on leave from the program?phoned from Japan. She said she had hoped to join him for a week upon his return, but ABS-CBN rules forbade it.

For himself, Failon said, the tragedy was a ?period of cleansing.? On the bright side, the broadcaster said, ?This was the time I [learned] who my true friends were.?