HOST: Why, of all the stars we have, did you decide to become a fan of (name of female star)?

Fan: Because I idolize her since childbirth!

(Yours?or hers?)

***

Host: How beautiful did your best friend (name of star) look at her wedding?

Guest: So beautiful ? para siyang wedding gown na naglalakad!

(That beautiful, huh?)

Good future

Host: What should a teacher do to guide students to a good future?

Guest: Dapat, we should guide them para ma-realize nila ang tamang mali!

(Hey, that?s quite a trick!)

***

Host: What kind of actor do you want to be?

Guest: Comedian.

Host: What kind of comedy?

Guest: Stand-in comedy!

(Which comedy star do you wish to stand in for?)

***

Host: Do you think the government contract was legal?

Guest: In my opinion, how it was done, para namang properly with the right connections.

(Ano daw?)

***

Host: If you were the one accused, would you plead guilty?

Guest: Since I?m not the one, I think that?s a hypotesticle question!

(Absolutely no comment!)

***

Host: Do you think stress can push a desperate person to acts of violence?

Guest: Of course, it can.

Host: Why of course?

Guest: Because stress can affect what you call the psychological ice pick ng tao.

(Ice pick? ?Violent talaga!)

Potential

Host: What do you think of (name of new star), his potential?

Guest: I?m sure he will go a long places!

(He?s that good, huh?)

***

Host: What did you do on your birthday?

Guest: I went to an exclusive beach resort with my family.

Host: Did you go inside the water?

(Would you like to rephrase your question?please?)

***

Host: Congratulations on your victory. Do you want to thank anybody?

Guest: Yes, I?d like to thank you the judges!

(Oh, never mind!)