WE?RE NOT SAYing it didn?t happen. Apparently, there?s been some real trouble in the James-Kris, or Kris-James, household for quite a while now (details ? uh, all over).

We?re just saying that the timing of the ?news? break is rather suspect: Kris Aquino has a telenovela on ABS-CBN whose pilot episode aired Monday, two days after the ?sugod? story hit the papers and one day before she announced her leaving the home she shared with her husband of five years.

The nagging scenario on our mind is, since the situation was there anyway? and didn?t that sound familiar?

This is not by any means the first walkout from that domecile, disturbed since 2007. But this time around, urgent and massive damage control is warranted.

Likely moves in the next few days could include a swift and clean cut or, more likely, a very public patch-up, on account of the May polls.

As for the picture on Page D1, of a happy singing-dancing couple seen on nationwide television Sunday night (when Sharon Cuneta?s birthday concert was aired), the number was taped on Tuesday. Set your time line straight.

I quit!

Prolific Writer allegedly left Major Network to join Rival Channel because of personal reasons.

PW was transferred to a department headed by MN?s Top Exec, who?s famous for quarreling with colleagues.

A source says PW wisely chose to resign rather than face the prospect of butting heads with TE.

PW will henceforth be working in RC with people he trusts, including Long-Time Love.

Cause of delay

If an upcoming project is saddled with all sorts of delays, the only person to blame is Lead Actor, claims an insider.

LA, notorious for tardiness, allegedly has caused the production crew not a few headaches. Then again, the film?s Topnotch Director is partly to blame.

TD?s hectic work schedules, straddling TV and movie sets, also sparked production problems. Now the flick is in limbo.

Rivalry of a different kind

Upstart Director pitched a concept for a new film to Industry Veteran.

Coincidentally, the story of Older Filmmaker?s new movie with IV is oddly reminiscent of UD?s planned project. When UD heard about OF?s movie, the former?s brows reached the ceiling.

There?s a back story here: UD and OF were once romantic rivals?both are exes of Gorgeous Hunk.

Sexy and the inmates

Cebu?s YouTube sensation, the Dancing Inmates, has taken TV dancing to another level with? the Sexbomb.

In a live program aired over GMA Cebu, Buena Mano Balita, the inmates strut their stuff with the popular female dance group to pitch for voters? education.

This was put together by GMA News and Public Affairs group, in line with the network?s campaign to empower viewers through information.

The inmates and Sexbomb danced to ?Bilog na Hugis Itlog,? an advocacy song and dance that details the automated voting process.

Did you hear?

Hugh Grant, starring in Columbia Pictures? ?Did You Hear About the Morgans?? with Sarah Jessica Parker:

?There are a lot of romantic comedies but very few of them are actually funny. Marc [Lawrence], (director-writer) really does write funny dialogue. What you dread are the ones that are done by a team of writers, and then there?s a hired director, and a hired producer, and then the studio will have their say? and then you?re in hell.?

?Old Dogs? director Walt Becker on his star, John Travolta:

?John?s always great to work with. He?s just about the nicest human being on the planet and as an actor he elevates every single scene he?s in. In terms of instincts, he?s always right. We?ve learned to trust each other, and when he?s feeling something is working or I feel something is working, we kind of run with it.?

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Top of the talk shows

For those who missed last weekend?s gabfests on TV. (And why we are moved, if we are moved.)

Kris Aquino, explaining why she confronted James Yap?s female fan Mayen Austria:

?She?s under the illusion that I?m not a real person and I only exist on TV. So, gusto kong pumunta doon para maramdaman niya na flesh and blood, tao ako at misis ako [ni James].? (Huh?)

Kris narrates the confrontation:

?Never po akong nagmura. Never po akong nanlait ng tao. Ipinaramdam ko lang ang aking displeasure ? I was very, very calm the whole time. Kaya lang lumabas siya (Mayen)? the girl came out and said, ?I don?t know why I have to say I?m sorry to you. James said to me to say I?m sorry. But I didn?t do anything wrong.?? Kung yung mismong asawa ko feeling dapat mag-sorry na itong babae na ito sa akin, siguro nga pati yung asawa ko, na-realize na may mali sa sitwasyon. So, ang sinabi ko sa kanya, ?Asawa ako ni James. I?m his wife. And in my opinion, what you?re doing is wrong. And I came here very graciously, sabi ko, and as politely as I can, to please ask you to please stop calling my husband? Hindi sikreto sa buong Pilipinas kung ano ang mga pinagdadaanan namin ni James. Siguro naman, and I addressed this to the mother, ?I?m sure, Ma?am, you would not want your daughter to be a contributing factor to the demise of my marriage. And I?m sure as a married woman, you don?t blame me, and you cannot blame me, for wanting to save my marriage.? (No person who says this much needs to swear or raise his/her voice to sound miffed.)

Kris on Noynoy Aquino?s reaction:

?Hindi niya kinunsinti ang ginawa ko? Noy has been trying to salvage our marriage. In our long conversation, noong iniiyakan ko si Noy, ang sinabi po ni Noy sa akin, ?When you went into that marriage, you knew what the responsibilities were? Kristina, eto na lang, mas matanda ka, mas marami ka nang pinagdaanan sa buhay. Emotionally and intellectually, you are more mature. So much more is expected of you.?? (Noynoy said that?!)

Kris on cooling off with James:

?Where do we stand now? Nakiusap ako sa kapatid kong si Pinky kung puwedeng doon muna kami. I?m taking my two sons with me to stay with Pinky? The fact that I?ve stayed with James for almost five years must prove na mahal ko siya. Kaya lang, hindi lang puwedeng ako lang ang nagmamahal? na ako lang ang umiintindi. Kumbaga sa basketball, the ball is now in his hands. I can?t forever be the one standing strong. Kasi darating din naman yung panahon na mapapagod ako? Kailangan ko rin ng space for me. Kasi bugbog na bugbog na ako. Siguro naman hindi ako mag-i-snap nang ganun kung hindi marami na kaming pinagdaanan. So, now I?m just saying, as any wife who?s watching me now? gusto mo naman ng assurance na mahal ka, nirerespeto ka at hindi ka niloloko. (Door to reconciliation, squeaking as it opens? )

Kris? message to Noynoy?s detractors:

?Dinamay niyo ang kapatid ko. Ang kapatid ko na lang ang talagang natatakbuhan ko for anything and everything. You cannot blame me for wanting to defend Noy. And you cannot blame me for wanting to defend my marriage.? (And you cannot blame them for seizing the day.)

Krista Ranillo on the Manny Pacquiao controversy:

?Yun nga. Parang basta let?s move on. It?s 2010. I?m so sawa na. I?m sobrang sawa na to talk about it, honestly. I?m so sawa na.? (So are we, girl. So are we. Honestly.)

With Gerry Plaza, Startalk, The Buzz