LOS ANGELES?PICTURE TIM BURTON and Helena Bonham-Carter, with their unruly mass of hair, scaring each other accidentally in their own home. ?I think I scare him at times,? Helena, whose eyes are even more expressive in person, confided about her companion. Just the visual of Tim and Helena scaring the daylights out of each other was enough to send us tittering.

?Definitely, he scares me. Our children scare us like I just scared him. He scared me last night because he put the blankets, on the bed and I was half-asleep, so it was like, ?Oh, my God!? Sometimes, I walk in, and he goes, ?Oh, my God!? I?d go, ?I had two children by you. Remember?? He?s easily scared. I?m slightly braver.?

We thank the cinema gods that Helena and Tim are gutsier in their screen collaborations, which include ?Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street,? ?Corpse Bride,? ?Planet of the Apes,? ?Big Fish? and, now, ?Alice in Wonderland.? Helena runs away with the movie, an adaptation of Lewis Carroll?s ?Alice?s Adventures in Wonderland? and ?Through the Looking-Glass,? as the Red Queen.

Anecdote

In a recent interview, Helena regaled us with an anecdote, which she narrated with a conspiratorial whisper, complete with ever widening eyes. ?One time, we were staying in a house with my brother and sister-in-law,? she began. ?There was something sitting in the ceiling over our bed. Both of us were going to make a run for it and get my brother and sister-in-law, because we didn?t know what to do. We?re so not practical in that area. We were like children. We were whispering, ?What are we going to do? What?s the plan?? It was like there was a Jabberwocky (the dragon-like creature in ?Alice??) above us. We counted ?1, 2, 3,? ran and hid in my niece and nephew?s bedroom, while Tom, my brother, got rid of it. It turned out to be a pigeon! Hitchcock, yeah.?

Yes, Helena is a fun interviewee, especially when she?s in the mood, as she was in this chat: She teased the hell out of her hair. She appeared to be competing with Tim for having the hair with the most, um, character.

?I?m living it,? she replied when asked what her most fantastic dream was. She and Tim are blessed with two kids, Bill, 6, and Nell, 2. ?I?m pretty lucky, I must say,? she stressed. ?The fact that Tim went and made ?Alice in Wonderland,? one of my favorite stories. The movie isn?t the actual story, but it has all the elements and that whole culture. I couldn?t believe it when he asked me to be in it. I had a little dream come true being in a musical, ?Sweeney Todd.? He has granted me a few dreams and two children. He?s definitely popular on my list.?

Helena and Tim are probably among the coolest parents around, but they adhere to the basics in what they teach their children. ?Manners are very important,? Helena declared. Then, she laughed, remembering her ?Off with their heads!? tantrums as the wickedly fun royal in ?Alice?? She said, ?Then, they see their mother being the Red Queen. She has no manners whatsoever and does not say, ?Please? or ?Thank you??nothing. Tim and I are big on manners, apart from values like kindness and thoughtfulness. We want to bring up two nice human beings?people with big hearts, who are responsible and thoughtful. You don?t necessarily know what you think is important until you start teaching your kids. Luckily, Tim and I agree.?

But, Tim and their family buddy, Johnny Depp, who plays the Mad Hatter in ?Alice...,? are apparently helpless when it comes to humor. ?I thought they were sort of 6-year-olds, because of their sense of humor,? Helena dished with a smile. ?It?s like Bill now has a more sophisticated sense of humor than his dad.?

Growing up

We found out one interesting thing about growing up in the Tim-Helena household when the actress was asked what she reads to her kids. ?I like reading the stories that I enjoyed as a kid,? she answered. ?So, poor Bill, I was reading ?Little House on the Prairie? to him. He didn?t enjoy it. Thank God, I had a girl for Bill?s sake, because I?ve been dressing Bill as a girl for years until Nell came. Then, he was allowed to be a boy. ?

When Tim came in to be interviewed next, a reporter told him, ?You look like a mad scientist in a Fritz Lang movie.? ?Thank you,? Tim laughed, his hair still a shock of curls, even though they are graying now. ?That?s a compliment.?

Asked by a writer if he puts himself in a ?bizarre state of mind? when he creates his highly imaginative films, Tim deadpanned, ?I always feel like I?m in a bizarre state, which is good. Well, maybe good, maybe bad. There?s something about Alice and a lot of children?s literature that captures the topsy-turvy weirdness of life. It may seem fantastical and strange, but I find that the root of it is based on reality.?

Asked how he decides if Helena is perfect for a part in a film, Tim explained, ?In this particular case, it was easy, because I saw her as the Red Queen quickly and easily. She?s like Johnny in the sense that she doesn?t like watching herself. I like that as a director, because I don?t have to deal with any of that ?Oh, shoot me from this side, or that side? kind of stuff. It?s very liberating.?

Teen idol

Of Johnny, his muse since they collaborated for the first time in ?Edward Scissorhands? 20 years ago, Tim recalled, ?I didn?t see his TV show then (?21 Jump Street?), but I did see a picture of Johnny from that series. When I met him, I could see he was trapped in that world?a teen idol/male model blah blah blah. That?s not who he was as a person, so he identified with Edward, character who?s misperceived for the way he looks. He looks like a monster, but he?s not. He?s really a sweetheart inside and, in a different version, Johnny was that way in his life. I could see him clearly connecting to that character.?

Tim, despite the outsize dark glasses and outlandish hair, sounded like a regular dad when he talked about how making films keeps him away from his family.? This one was disturbing to make, because I was away from my family for a while,? he shared. ?The hardest thing was being away while they?re starting to grow a little more.?

With a rock-star grin, Tim added, ?I have to be home when they?re tearing around the house. I?m sure it?s going to be enjoyable!?

E-mail rvnepales_5585@yahoo.com.