HEALING is a long and difficult process for Ana and Ina Feleo, daughters of actor Johnny Delgado (Juan Marasigan Feleo), who died in November last year.

?Every day is still a struggle,? Ana told the Philippine Daily Inquirer during a recent visit to the Feleo home in Horseshoe Village, Quezon City. ?Ina, Mommy [actress-director Laurice Guillen] and I are coping in different ways.?

Ana added: ?We?ve been advised to dwell on happier times with him ? well, that?s easier said than done. What we remember most vividly are Dad?s last three months. Cancer is the worst thing that can happen to anyone.?

Their mom, who has always been the ?OC-type? is ?extra OC? now, Ina said. ?Less than a month after Daddy died, she asked us to pack away his things. At that point, Ana and I still wanted everything to stay the way they were. Pero si Mommy, baklas, ligpit [But Mommy, she takes them down, keeps them]! Mom is obsessed with [rearranging] the house. I heard her sleep-talk recently. She said, ?Yung mga gamit ? [The furniture]??

Johnny struggled with lymphoma for a year. He was 61 when he died.

?I?d like to talk to Dad in my dream, to feel his presence. I keep busy para ?di ma-depress [so that I'm not depressed],? said Ina. (She is in the cast of GMA 7?s ?Pilyang Kerubin.?)

Plus, the sisters have been doing Bikram yoga. ?It helps us let go and calm down,? Ina said. ?Mom joins us sometimes.?

They recently went to Boracay, Ina said, ?with Tita Lorna [Tolentino] and the families of Daddy?s other friends. Mommy had a jolly time. She and Daddy both loved the sea. On the first day, she wore a turtleneck blouse; second day, a tank top. On the third day, bikini na [already]!?

Lorna?s husband, action star Rudy Fernandez, died in June 2008, also of cancer. He was 56. In one interview, Lorna observed that her sons, Raph and Renz, have become overly protective. Ana said she has taken it upon herself to look after the family?s health, especially her mother?s. ?We changed our diet. We don?t eat pork or beef now. I nag Mom to exercise. I make natural fruit juices for everyone.?

?Cancer has no cure, and that?s the truth,? Ina stressed. ?The best thing is to boost your immune system.?

Acting normal

Today, Laurice, Ana, and Ina will celebrate Father?s Day the same way they always have. ?We?ll have dinner ? but, this time, just the three of us. We?ll visit dad?s grave, hear Mass, eat out,? said Ana. ?We try to act as normally as possible,? added Ina. They went to a movie recently and, Ana recounted, Laurice still bought four tickets! ?And sometimes, in restaurants, we still ask for a table for four,? Ana said. ?Then we remember.?

Is there anything they forgot to tell Johnny? ?That?s the only good thing about cancer,? she said. ?You get to say goodbye. The priest counseled us to use the remaining time to really talk to Dad. We believe it relieved him of some worries, too. We each had one-on-one moments with him. Nasabi ko lahat [I was able to tell him everything].?

Ana, a singer, said Johnny made her promise she?d continue ?talking? to him. ?I still bring up everything with him. Daddy was the jealous type; we sought his approval for everything.?

Last month, Ana represented the country in the Asean Korea Traditional Orchestra celebration. ?I ?told? him, ?Dad, holding-hands tayo ?pag kakanta na ako [let?s hold hands when I?m about to sing].? The night before my first performance, I dreamt of Dad inside a boxing ring, smiling broadly at me. He wore his blue jersey and fisherman?s hat. Again I dreamt of him the night before my second performance. I heard him say, ?I love you, anak [child].??

Ina and Ana grew up with parents who were also their critics. ?It was not enough for Dad that we work on something well,? Ina recalled. ?He expected us to exceed our previous work. No matter how limiting a role or a project is, we should be able to pull a surprise,? said Ina, two-time Cinemalaya Best Actress winner (?Endo,? ?Sanglaan?).

However, Ina said, ?Dad never cared about awards. He always told us, ?Never believe your own publicity. Love your craft. Never work just for the sake of winning an award.??

Support group

The girls are spending more and more time with the Legends group, Johnny?s friends from the TV gag show ?Goin? Bananas? in the 1980s.

?It used to be just the four of us ? Daddy, Mommy Ana and I. Now, we?re sort of branching out,? Ina said.

?The group started meeting regularly when Tito Rudy fell ill,? Ana added. ?Recently, Baby Legends was formed ? that?s us, Raph, Renz, Bodie (son of actor Tirso Cruz III) and kids of the other Legends.?

Ina is thankful for this ?solid? support group. ?They were all here during the death watch,? she said. ?Every night was like a party. We didn?t worry about food. They really loved Daddy. They would sit at his bedside and kiss his hand. I?m glad that in his last hours, Daddy was surrounded by people who truly cared for him.?

E-mail mcruz@inquirer.com.ph