LOS ANGELES??Everybody wants to know how big my penis is,? Thomas Jane said matter-of-factly when asked in a recent press conference what kind of naughty comments he?s been getting since he began starring in HBO?s black comedy-drama, ?Hung.? With his characteristic furrowed-brow look, accompanied by a grin, he added, ?Why people are interested in it, I can?t figure it out.?

Thomas was being sardonic. The actor plays Ray Drecker, a well-endowed high school teacher and sports coach who turns to prostitution to make ends meet. Taking his jacket off, he explained, ?Marlon Brando had this problem when he did ?A Streetcar Named Desire.? Everybody thought he was this blue-collar, thug kind of guy. He wasn?t. He was an erudite, French-speaking, very articulate actor.?

Yes, Thomas, who starred as ?The Punisher? in the movie based on a Marvel Comics hero, isn?t your generic interviewee. You never know what he?s going to do or say next. This son of a biogenetics engineer and an antiques dealer says things like he was smartest when he was 9 years old. But, his squinting eyes and appraising stare tell you that this dude is razor smart. He?s funny and eccentric?an actor you?d like to drink beer with.

Thomas has led a remarkable life?he dropped out of senior high school in Maryland to star in a Bollywood musical. When he returned from India, he decided to move to Los Angeles to try his luck in Hollywood. Thomas was homeless for a while, sleeping on park benches, before he landed roles.

Comfortable

Known to be comfortable about being naked, the talented husband of Patricia Arquette hates wearing shoes. He showed up barefoot at the Season One premiere of ?Hung,? which also stars Anne Heche as his ex-wife, Jane Adams and Rebecca Creskoff.

Complimented about wearing shoes for this interview, Thomas reacted, ?I?m actually wearing shoes. These are the same shoes I wore last year.? He put one boot-shod foot on the table. He didn?t have any shoes in our press con with him last year, which we missed and still regret not attending, because we were told that it was, shall we say, a very interesting interview.

?I took the boots off, maybe,? he insisted. When Thomas was told that he was definitely shoeless last year, he said, ?Not everybody wears shoes. Just because they invented them doesn?t mean we have to put them on our feet. We?re all animals?we were born in the dirt, and that?s where we?re going. We don?t have to wear shoes. There?s no law about it.?

With those words, he shucked off his boots and flung his white athletic socks on the floor. He put one boot?beat-up, brown leather embossed with skull designs?on the table. ?Somehow, the boots have been with me through many women,? he said as he picked up the boot, showing the sole. ?Look at the holes on these. The women I have kicked with these boots.? He quickly added, ?I?m joking! The women who have kicked me with these boots.? For the record, at least his socks didn?t have holes. They were clean and immaculately white.

Next step

Asked what?s up with his character in the second season, Thomas answered (to clarify, he tends to say ?I? when, in fact, he means Ray, his character): ?I?m still in love with my ex-wife. I?m doing whatever that next step is to get close to her. Obstacles are strong in my path, especially with the two pimps I?m dealing with. One?s sort of a red-headed devil (Rebecca) sitting on my shoulder, telling me that I can make a lot of money and rip off a lot of women emotionally and their pocket books. The other, Jane Adams? character, is trying to tell me what?s good and to get in touch with my feminine side, which I don?t have a very good grasp of. I did wear some flowers today. I?m trying.

?I?ve always liked flowers,? he replied when asked about his seeming penchant for floral printed shirts and pants (he wore both at Pee-Wee Herman?s show in LA). ?They make me feel good. I feel good in the morning when I put on a flower shirt?I feel like the day is new. I feel like I smell better. It makes me feel good. A lot of actors wear black to look serious. I obviously don?t have that problem.?

Has his character learned more about women, since Ray is no longer a novice in the world?s oldest profession? ?I disagree with you about the no-longer-novice part,? he countered. ?It?s still new for Ray. It?s Season Two. He hasn?t really been with that many women in a prostitute way. We were talking about Ray and what he learned about women in the second season. Yes, I?m definitely making the effort. In a lot of cases, effort is all that?s required. I?m never going to figure women out, but me making the effort?sometimes, that?s rewarding.?

?I?m a year older and just as dumb as I?ve ever been,? Thomas declared when asked about his own understanding of women and life. ?I reached my zenith at about 9, when I was as smart as I would ever be. I wish I could remember some of the things I knew when I was 9. I could use a bit of that. On women, I haven?t figured them out?and I think that?s beautiful. People are often frustrated by their mystery. I?ve been enchanted by the mystery of women, and women have always been frustrated with me. That?s usually how it works. Maybe I?m too easy to figure out.? Thomas? previous relationships include two actresses, Olivia d?Abo and Aysha Hauer (Rutger Hauer?s daughter), from whom he is divorced.

On how he views prostitution, Thomas remarked, ?What are you paying for? A drug? A few moments. A good time. Forget about some things for a while. Perhaps be reminded of other things. We?re paying for something that goes away in the morning. It?s as if it never happened, unlike a lover whom you have to chew your arm off in the morning to get out of the door to work. Or, somehow get out of the door before you. You pay them to come, and you pay them to go. There?s good and bad in that. Some people get addicted to prostitutes like others do to gambling, drugs or wearing shoes.?

Script

Do he and Patricia consult each other about work, we wondered. ?We don?t talk about work,? enthused Thomas, who has a daughter, 7, with the actress. ?When we do, we keep it simple. It?s the last thing you think about when you go home. You need a safe place to go and relax. Everyone needs a place where they can go and be themselves?and to not put on a show. The Thomas Jane Show. The Patricia Arquette Show. We went over the ?Hung? script and broke it down a little. When she did her show, ?Medium,? for the first time, she also came to me, and we talked about it. If it?s something important or something you?re wrestling with, it?s nice to have another actor there?a good actor. In my case, I have a great actress to bounce off ideas with. It makes me a better actor and more honest.?

Looking ahead, Thomas announced that he will play Demi Moore?s husband in an American remake of the French comedy, ?LOL (Laughing Out Loud),? with the same director, Lisa Azuelos. He?s also in ?I Melt With You,? which he described as ?about four old college roommates who get together every year to try to reignite their past?and their passion.? Also a director with two credits, ?The Dark Country? (he turned down a role in ?Watchmen? to helm this) and ?Jonni Netro,? Thomas disclosed that he will soon be helming a western.

At the end of the interview, we had to take his pictures outdoors. We followed him as he stepped out into the world, still shoeless and very much comfortable about it.

E-mail rvnepales_5585@yahoo.com.