LOS ANGELES??Treat him well. Remember, he might be pushing your wheelchair one day.?

That?s what Woody Allen said to Penelope Cruz about her baby son, Leo, making the actress laugh really hard. The legendary comic and filmmaker had sent a gift for Leo, but his funny admonition to the Oscar-winning mom was just as appreciated.

?I?m very happy,? the actress said about being a mother in a recent interview. She gave birth to Leo, her child with fellow Spanish actor Javier Bardem, last January. ?Motherhood changes you immediately. It?s something very hard to explain because it?s very deep. For sure, it?s the most beautiful feeling I?ve ever experienced.?

Penelope prefers to keep mum about Leo but she did say that she?d like her son to be fluent in English and Spanish like his parents. ?I would love that, and that would happen naturally because we live in both places,? she said. ?We live part of the time in Spain and part of the time in America.?

Busy is good

During the interview and days later at the huge Disneyland premiere of ?Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,? her movie with pal Johnny Depp, Penelope showed off her svelte post-pregnancy form. ?When you are busy all the time, that?s a good thing,? said the actress about her fitness routine. The woman who had wanted to be a ballerina added that her first love keeps her in shape. ?I love to dance like four hours a day,? she said. ?It?s boring for me to go to the gym. Dancing is more fun than going to the gym. But sometimes I try and go to the gym.?

No strange diets

She denied the reports that ?I was on some strange diet. My diet is Mediterranean, which is good food. I eat well. I try to eat healthy food. I also love Spanish food. When I?m not in Spain, I really miss Spanish food. I know how to cook a little bit. I love Italian food, too. No strange diets for me.?

With a child to dote on and raise, Penelope plans to keep her movie assignments at a minimum. ?I decided to make time for myself a few years ago,? she revealed. ?Around the time I did ?Volver? and ?Don?t Move,? I was working three to four movies a year. I was exhausted. So I changed the way I live my life. That was four or five years ago. Since then, I do maybe one movie per year. I don?t plan on working more.?

?Live your life?

?That is not for me anymore,? she said of those days when she worked nonstop. ?Because you cannot put in the same dedication. You end up being tired the whole time. You have nothing to give. You have to live your life to be able to tell other stories.?

The slower pace also allows her more time for her other passions, including her involvement with RED, a campaign to help fight the spread of AIDS in Africa. ?There are so many things that I love in the world,? she declared. ?Not just working. I hope I can keep on being involved with the different charities that I?ve been working with, like RED, which is doing an amazing job with that brilliant idea from Bobby Shriver and Bono. I feel privileged to be involved with organizations like that. I also love traveling and exploring different cultures.?

?I?ve had great opportunities in my life to work with a lot of interesting people,? she continued. ?I?ve worked with Mother Teresa, the Dalai Lama and Maharishi. I?ve been able to meet and spend time with them and all those trips have been life-changing. Those things stay with me and affect a lot of my decisions.?

Philanthropic side

Penelope?s philanthropic side is not well-known. She once donated her paycheck from a movie to the mission of Mother Teresa, with whom she worked as a volunteer for a week. Penelope said, ?This job gives you the opportunity to do movies but you also get a lot of proposals to do other things that contribute to a good thing. Even if it?s a little contribution, it counts.?

She expressed admiration for Sean Penn?s dedication to help the people of Haiti since the country was devastated by an earthquake in 2010. ?I think what Sean is doing in Haiti is really admirable,? Penelope said. ?We?re his friends. We know how much time he spends there. He?s been there almost the whole year. He sleeps on the floor. He has thousands of people in his camp. It?s really admirable that there are people like him in our business who really care. He?s a great example.?

Mr. Hankey fans

As for the lighter side of Penelope, Johnny has photos of her which she hopes he will never share with the world. She explained, ?Johnny and I are fans of Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo, which is a character in ?South Park.? It?s very absurd and funny in a strange way. Johnny knew I loved the character so he made this outfit for me. We had a bet and I lost. He made me wear the outfit on the set. He took a thousand pictures of me. He was on the floor, laughing and crying. I hope those pictures never come to light. Of course, now that I?ve said it, I?m sure the pictures will appear somewhere.?

?You have to be alert around Johnny because he likes teasing people,? she said of the actor who makes her the victim of his pranks even in the presence of ?Pirates? director Rob Marshall or producer Jerry Bruckheimer. ?And Johnny does it when you least expect it. He has a farting machine that he puts on your chair. Then he goes across the room. He presses the button when you are talking to Rob or Jerry or when you are rehearsing a scene. Everybody on the set will think it?s you who farted. He?s been doing it for 10 years. The first time he did it to me was when we were shooting ?Blow.? He did it when I was a having a close up for a very dramatic scene. I could not believe it. He makes a lot of people laugh with that.?

E-mail the columnist at rvnepales_5585@yahoo.com.