MANILA, Philippines?Young families building their new homes are often wont to ask: ?Should each of our kids have his own bedroom?? It?s a deceptively simple question that deserves a well-considered, but simple answer.

Children, regardless of gender, may stay in one bedroom while they are very young. In fact, this could be a great solution to care-giving and sleeping problems. Sharing one bedroom makes it convenient for a baby sitter to keep an eye on more than one youngster at a time. It also gives the toddlers a sense of security that another person is always close by.

However, as the children grow older, it is advisable that they are allowed their own rooms, or at least, their own separate and private spaces. Siblings of opposite sex should definitely have their own rooms, particularly as they approach puberty. For those of the same gender, other creative options for privacy may be considered.

Share a room

As a child, I always dreamed of having my own room. I imagined myself playing my own music as loud as I wished. I wanted to clean and fix it only when I felt like it. I liked to choose my own colors and decorative theme. Unfortunately, that situation became a reality when I was already in my teens. As I was growing up, I had to share a room with my two brothers. In hindsight, those early years of having roommates were not as awful as I thought. We shared similar schedules of study and play, so that we could prompt one another. We could share a lot of our stuff, as well as always have someone to interact with.

We might think that having one?s own room is the best option, but this may not always be true. Studies show those same-sex siblings sharing the same room bond more than those who room alone; this, in spite of the fact that they may seem to argue more often. Chances are that they will grow closer and more tolerant of each other.

The situation trains them to develop their skills in bargaining and negotiation, in relation to space, personal preferences in music, lighting levels, room design, order and cleanliness. More important, this allows them to have more time to talk and interact with each other. With proper guidance and handling by their parents, it can likewise teach them to be more forgiving and patient toward one another and eventually toward others. It actually instills in the subconscious important negotiation skills from childhood that may be very helpful in adult life.

Compromise

Wherever two or more parties are involved, there can be a compromise. Siblings can have a large room that is divided into small, individual areas. I have three daughters sharing one big room but divided into three small cubicle-type rooms. Although the bedrooms have dividers, they do not extend all the way up to the ceiling.

There are openings where the study tables are, positioned facing each other. My daughters claim that it is one of their favorite places in the house. Here, together they can do activities such as drawing, studying, or merely chatting. I always catch them giggling together while they are in this favorite spot of theirs. Sharing a common workplace seems to encourage each one to study when they see the other person hard at work. Tricky lessons are more easily solved when they can discuss and advise one another.

Having his own private corner allows each child to express his own decorating style and to choose his own color preference. Unlike in days past, there is no more problem with regard to choice of music since each one can have his own wired-in player. What?s more, if air conditioning is necessary, they would need only one unit to cool the entire area. This saves on power costs substantially.

The only critical consideration now is a good lighting design, because each must have the option to turn his own lights up or down, without annoying the other siblings.

A cause for consideration

In addition to a shared bedroom, my daughters have a common toilet suite, having separate enclosures for water closet, dressing room, shower and two sinks. This allows all of them to use the bathroom at the same time. However, they still have to negotiate who uses each area first. But more often than not, sharing space has become a cause for more interaction, talk and laughter, and less a reason for friction and disagreement.

The question of children having their own rooms is not really a budget consideration, but a social and psychological one. With proper planning, a balance of privacy and companionship can be achieved. In this instance, less room is definitely more!

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