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Love in the time of Friendster

By Ruth L. Navarra
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 17:28:00 02/19/2008

Filed Under: Lifestyle & Leisure

MANILA, Philippines--Married,? ?Single,? ?In a relationship? or ?It?s Complicated??

One of the telling signs that relationships nowadays have gone digital is through the little detail at the beginning of Friendster profiles. The one that indicates the status of the person you?re interested in.

Nothing is what it seems. Some people use these descriptions as weapons or as a means to hide from reality. Your analyzing and/or stalking skills should be put to work double-time if you?re ever going to understand what it all means.

The rule of thumb is when someone puts ?Married? on his or her status, you don?t automatically believe it. You check if there are wedding photos or pictures of babies. Otherwise, it could mean a lot of things.

It could be that they?ve found the love of their lives and now consider themselves committed. Or they?re trying to scare someone off. Or they recently broke up with someone.

Some people change their status to ?Married? when their relationship ends bitterly. I have no explanation for this phenomenon, except it must be therapeutic to see that the online version of themselves have moved on.

When someone says that they are ?single,? there?s a big chance they?re telling the truth. Some are so real on Friendster that, as soon as they decide to break up with someone, they update their status even before informing their partners.

Being ?In a Relationship? is as honest as being single. It?s just a matter of knowing with whom. If you?re stalking someone and you see this status, the quest ends here, unless you?re Avril Lavigne.

New area

Last but not least is the ?It?s Complicated? status. This has added a whole new gray area to the dating game, and the phrase itself has gained endless speculations and theories.

Maybe they?re involved with someone committed, so this would make them single but no longer looking. Or maybe they?re in that stage of deciding whether to cross the line between friends and lovers, and are unsure of their own status. Sometimes it could be a transitional phase from being ?In a Relationship? to ?Single.?

There are people who opt for the ?It?s Complicated? status because they don?t want to admit that they are single. They are the same people who think that being single is synonymous to being a loser.
They try to take care of their reputation among their peers. Perhaps, they think that projecting the image of being in a messy relationship is better than having no relationship at all.

Somehow, they just can?t bring themselves to admit that they?re scared. Scared to do things on their own and unsure whether they can find happiness without being with somebody else.

Some players also opt for this status because this will not confirm or disprove anything. It?s just too complicated to explain to their numerous potentials.

Of course, there are always exceptions. Maybe some people would just like to keep everybody else wondering.

Whatever the case may be, remember that these are just appearances and what?s important is that you always know where you stand in any relationship.



Copyright 2012 Philippine Daily Inquirer. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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