Philippine Daily Inquirer First Posted 01:23:00 03/09/2008
MANILA, Philippines - Gretchen Barretto is more stunning now than ever. She’s the most beautiful we’ve seen in quite a while, so that her photos can’t do her justice.
That puts her, indeed, at the epicenter of the table of the Ladies Who Lunch. As it is, she is the talk of Ladies Who Lunch.
That afternoon, she strode into Red at Shangri-La Makati for this exclusive. She was supermodel thin—only 102 lbs. She looked even taller and thinner in her Melissa Dizon stovepipe jeans and white top made of draped cotton strings. The strings, of course, allowed a peak into her bra, which, by the way, still had ample load despite her thinness.
She looked sexy, indeed. Her arms remained well-toned, the devoted boxer that she is, although she’d say later that she hadn’t done her fitness routine the past three months.
Her face was radiant, the glow so evident in that barely there makeup. She had only lip gloss.
Her hair was a short, blunt cut, parted on one side—the handiwork of Chiyo Tagami, the Japanese haircutter in Manila who’s the favorite of fashionistas today.
Coming from a hectic noon, she was famished but asked only for a heavy salad. She’s not really on a strict diet, but she said, “I take out anything white, so no bread. I follow the blood-type diet.”
“We’re not separated,” she caught our drift even before we could ask about her relationship with her longtime partner, the tycoon Tony Boy Cojuangco.
“Why these songs?” she asked, bringing the conversation back to her newly released CD, “Gretchen Barretto Unexpected.” “Because these are loaded lyrics. I can hardly identify with today’s songs. But I can with these songs... I’m just expressing myself.”
Many times that afternoon, she’d ask the Red staff to play the CD and increase the volume so that the lyrics filled the room. Apparently, she wanted the room to listen to what she was feeling.
What songs in it does Tony Boy like?
“I know what he doesn’t like. He asked me, what are you singing later (in a TV guesting)? ‘Please Don’t Ask Me,’ I said, and he said, ‘That again?’”
What songs are “so” her and Tony Boy right now?
“‘Ikaw Lamang,’ ‘More,’ ‘I Will,’” she said.
Should she do a movie with Piolo Pascual and Aga Muhlach, as she’s been offered, or only with either one? She doesn’t know; she’s confused. “And I don’t like confusion anymore,” she said. You didn’t know whether she was referring to movie projects—or her life.
Why do people remain curious about or fascinated with her?
“I really don’t know,” she said. “I’m also fascinated by Gretchen.” She laughed.
“I’m fascinated by the fact that they’re fascinated with me... I play along. These wealthy, pa-sosyal people... If my mission in life is to entertain these rich, bored people, so be it.”
Even as we write this, Gretchen is in Boston with Tony Boy and their 12-year-old daughter, Dominique, where Gretchen is celebrating her 38th birthday—away from it all. “He wants me all to himself,” she said, in mirth.
Other than Boston, in what place is she now at this stage of her life?
“An exciting place... What have I learned? Not to fear.
“Every low moment in my life is a defining moment. I’ve always come out better.”
The interview went on the whole afternoon. It was obvious she was so at home with some people in the room—enough to be candid. Her moods and quotes would swing from pensive and philosophical to naughty, acidic and even smug.
But what was so apparent was her self-confidence. She seemed to be on a solid perch.
How the interview went:
How did this CD come about? “I was just saying, “‘Bettina (Aspillaga, the associate of Boy Abunda) I wanna do a CD.” And she said, “Okay, go.” So I made my lineup. Then she got Chito Ilagan...
Why only now? It takes a certain emotion to get you to do something like this. I never really had that excitement or right emotion to come up with this kind of music. Falling in love—you must have that emotion. You can’t sing a love song without being in love.
Are you in love? I don’t know. What do you think?
Why did you choose these particular songs? I was just inspired. They’re old, beautiful. The songs today, I can’t find one that captures... That’s personal [to me]. The lyrics here are like, loaded.
(Recites a line from the text introducing her CD) “It’s fine by me to be despised for who I truly am, than to be adored for who I really am not.”
You really wrote this? Of course. I have no ghost [writer]. I had to ask, what do you think of Gretchen? What is she? “A bitch,” okay. “Extravagant,” okay. What else? I had to ask people what they thought of me also. And I put it. I am a bitch, I can be one if I want to. I can be sweet if I want to. I can also be funny. It depends.
You trained to sing? Yeah, in the beginning after I had just given birth. I wasn’t working, I had nothing to do. I trained with someone from Rep [Repertory Philippines].... I was just singing and singing, it wasn’t really like training anymore. It became more like expressing myself. I got the technique and I decided to just have a CD as a giveaway....
Now that I’m singing live—because they insist I sing live—the audience can feel exactly what I’m saying and they react to it. And you feel good about performing. It’s like hindi sayang your time, your effort. And it gives you a certain high.
Each song here has a meaning in your life? Yup. And I’m not telling you the meaning (laughs) because it’s there na. Kris Aquino is the funniest nga eh. She was like, “Alam mo, I went to lyrics.com kasi dini-dissect ko yung song, yung lyrics.” Sabi ko, bakit mo dini-dissect, ’di mo na kailangan i-dissect, nandiyan na yung kasagutan. (Laughs)
Did Tony like it? Yeah, but he doesn’t like “Please Don’t Ask Me.” I don’t know why. (Laughs)
What’s your favorite song in the album? “Ikaw Lamang,” “I Will” and “More.” (Sings a line) “More than you’ll ever know my arms long to hold you so...”
Why not Aga and Piolo [in a teleserye or movie]? Sabi nila nice kung Aga and Piolo, but that’s going to be too expensive. Because you know, my rate is really high. (Laughs)
Are you the highest now? I don’t know. I hope so. (Laughs)
That would be nice, you have Aga na, you have pa Piolo. But I don’t wanna be confused anymore. I don’t think I can handle confusion anymore. (Laughs)
Are you confused? Yes, and I love it. No, no. Am I confused? I’ll answer later, after my salad. Maybe I just need food.
Why do you think people are so fascinated with you? I really don’t know. Because I am fascinated with Gretchen, too. So I really cannot imagine why they’re not fascinated with Gretchen. (Laughs)
I am fascinated by the fact that they are really fascinated with me. In the beginning I wasn’t used to it and I resented it. And then I finally just learned to embrace the whole thing and enjoy and play with it. Because if not, I’ll go luka-luka. So I play along. I play the game, because these wealthy, pa-sosyal people, I think they’re just so damn bored with their life, and if my mission in life is to entertain the rich, bored people, then so be it. Naaaliw din naman ako, eh. I love it when I enter the room and I see that they’re all staring at me. And I’m like, “yeah?”
Everybody would say, “I saw Gretchen at the grocery and she was with 10 bodyguards!” They always exaggerate. I only have nine. (Laughs) I don’t know, I don’t even count. It’s so funny. Honestly, I’d rather not have them.
You know what, if you like me, you’re not threatened by me. But if you hate me, then I love you because that means you’re threatened by me!
You know, you should be able to separate the truth from your closeness [with people]. I may be close to you but if you’re right, you’re right; if you’re wrong, you’re wrong. I’m like that. We all have our own principles, our values, beliefs. And if this is my way of defending myself, my daughter, my whole being, my identity, whether you respect me or not, I respect you, your view. But this is mine, this is how I think of it. Not because they’re wealthy, I’m going to forever sit there. My wealth is what I believe in and how I can fend for myself. That is mine.
What’s your fascination with fashion? I just like outfits. It’s an expression of how you feel. I’m an artist, right? They say that you dress the way you feel. You notice when a person’s depressed, naka-black siya. Today I feel sexy, isn’t it obvious? (Laughs)
In what place are you now at age 38? An exciting place! With my CD and my career, it’s exciting. Yesterday I was really exhausted. I made the rounds. By the time we had lunch, I was like, “Bettina, you better feed me. I’m gonna faint.” We ate around 4:30 p.m. When we got to the booth, I was begging for food. And I was like, hey, it’s nice to work pala. It’s exciting. You don’t have time to even sit down and eat a good meal. This is real life, I’m working.
How do you rank your indulgences? No. 1, love. Then music.
How about clothes, jewelry? That’s material. Then chocolate, shoes and then shoes, bags, outfits, gowns, watches. I can’t have enough. And I’m into men’s sizes. Anything big.
You think you’ve gone over the biggest hurdles? For as long as there’s life, there will be a lot to hurdle. There’ll be different things and different situations, and I’ve gone over many hurdles. I didn’t always come out on top, but that doesn’t matter. For me, every low moment is my defining moment. I just become stronger each time and better all the time.
So what have you learned so far? I have learned not to be governed by fear of what people will say and how they’d judge Gretchen Barretto. Because the true price to pay is losing myself, and that I will never give to them.
Don’t you think sometimes the choices you make also define you? Hey, I’m human. I make mistakes. No one is perfect. The difference is, my mistakes, they’re magnified. It’s all over. That’s the price I have to pay for being Gretchen Barretto. And why am I Gretchen? Because they put me here. I cry, too. But I stand up and then I’m good again.
Who do you listen or pour your heart out to? I hate to have to say this, but I listen to myself. Because everybody makes pakialam with my life, everybody has something to say. But at the end, I always follow my instincts, my feelings. Nobody can stop me. No one. That is me. When I wanna do something, I do it.
What about when Tony Boy gives you advice? I listen to it but, in the end, this is me. I still follow, whether it’s right or wrong, as long as I can own up to my mistake and I can nurse my own wounds, I’m fine. Because I don’t want to listen to you and when it gets palpak, it’s because it was your decision. I make palpak, it’s my decision, so, okay, I’m sorry. Madali ako mag sorry eh, that’s why I get away with things. “I’m sorry I’m so palpak,” and I get away with it all the time. (Laughs) Especially with Tony. Also, I think people expect me to make mistakes. That’s the best part.
When was the last time you told him you’re sorry? Every day (laughs), with the baby-sweet tone. “Oops. I’m sorry!” And he says, “Hay naku!”
Do you feel like you have everything now? No. Nobody has anything and everything. There are things lacking, things that money can’t buy. Like more shoes. That was a joke ha. (Laughs)
Like a wedding gown? A wedding gown, I can buy. It’s really walking down the aisle. It’s not that piece of paper. I just really want the baduy wedding. I just want that day. When you walk down that very long aisle, with the very nice Louboutins that will be covered anyway by that long freaking gown, plus the music, the whole orchestra, the whole drama—I want that. After that, that’s the problem. (Laughs) I never deny that I want that. I’m so baduy, I love it. I love that drama. I’m a child at heart.
You think it’s coming? I haven’t decided. If it comes, it comes. If it comes, everybody’s invited. And everyone will know because there’s nothing I do that people don’t know about, anyway. But I haven’t decided.
If you were to have a wedding gown, who would design it? Inno Sotto! Love your own! Pride in the Filipino. How can it not be Inno Sotto? But, you know, sa tagal kong naghintay, I must have five gowns!
Why haven’t you moved on, just you and your daughter? It’s not that easy because people would be hurt. You may think I’m selfish and I love myself so much, but I also love a lot of people. And as much as I want to give myself what I feel I deserve and want and really love, I also feel that I have an obligation. And that obligation is to protect some people. I’m not ready to just do whatever. It’s not an easy decision
How would you describe your relationship now with Tony? Tony doesn’t want to be talked about. He’s a businessman, he’s not a show-biz personality. Why should I talk about him? Let’s give him his own space. He asked that I don’t talk about him. Masyado nang sikat ang mga Cojuangco. (Laughs)
How do you feel when you get linked to other names? I don’t always like it, simply because I don’t know if people go out and befriend me because they want the attention, the scandal or because I’m just really fun to be with. I honestly get the feeling that they just love it. When I say, “Hey, guess what, it’s you and me now,” they’re like, “Really?” (laughs) I don’t know if I’ll be flattered o maiinis ako. But I’m more flattered. I’m fun naman ah, tapos I’m beautiful. Aside from that, I’m talented. (Laughs)
How does your daughter cope with all this? She doesn’t know that. She cannot speak a single Tagalog word. And she goes to the British school. Tony chose her school, Tony put her there. I tried to speak Tagalog to her but she just never picked it up.
What’s your dream for her? That she follows whatever she wants, what her heart truly desires. That’s what’s important. It’s not about my dream now, it’s about her dream. That’s her, she’s different. She’s not Gretchen. I don’t want her to be just Tony Boy Cojuangco’s daughter. She can be better than him. Or not just “anak ni Gretchen.” I want her to be Dominique Barretto Cojuangco, the best of the Barrettos and the best of the Cojuangcos.
What’s your mothering style? I do the best I can. I don’t think I can describe it, but when I love, I love. I give what I can. I’m certainly not perfect, but at least I know I’m trying. I try to be there, I try to understand, I try to explain why I say yes or no to every question she has.
I always tell her I want to be her friend. So I ask her, “Hey, is there a cute guy?” (Laughs)
What does she like? She’s into fashion. She dresses like Mischa Barton.
T: You think a man is irreplaceable in a woman’s life? It depends with every person. I’m gonna get caught if I give you my answer.
Have you seriously been alone? I’ve never been alone. When I started working at 12, I did endorsements, tuluy-tuloy na, and I was always surrounded by a lot of people. When you have a show, you’re just surrounded. That hasn’t change. When I went with Tony, more people.
So all the attention is a drag for you? I’m used to it. There are days when I let go of my guards, and I go out and I’m like, Yay! I’m so happy. My heart’s beating so fast because I realize that I’m not secure, because I’ve gotten used to having a lot of people especially when I go to the public toilet.
It’s a good and bad thing because I’m 38, and there are many things I want to do for myself. It’s also nice to be able to feel my age and feel like other people. I don’t and can’t drive my own car. I can’t just say bye, I’m leaving on my own and I’m going to the grocery. I want to try but I’m afraid to try. But that’s life.
Do you feel lucky? Lucky in a different way. Because I see a lot of people who don’t naman have that many people around with them. But I really don’t know if I really want to not have a lot of people. I try to be alone sometimes.
Whether I’m in show biz or not, my life is out there. So I might as well enjoy what I really love to do, and that is being in showbusiness and earn.
You must really love showbusiness... I do, but not when it gets too magulo. I just love when I’m alone, and just in my pajamas and reading. I only like psychology books and law books. I’m curious about law, anything about law. But I’m more into psychology books, disorders or self-help.
What’s the last book you read? “People of the Lie.” I like “Healing the Child Within,” “Dance of Anger.” It’s like saying, if you don’t like the situation, don’t dance with it. Don’t go along with it. Otherwise you’re gonna have anger in your life. I like that book but it’s difficult to really put into practice, because there are a lot of things and people you have to consider.
How does it feel to be one of the most desired women in the country? Am I? I don’t know. I’ve never thought of that. I’m diyahe.
Do you think a lot of women identify with you? I believe so.
Don’t you think it will be such a great thing to just walk away from this whole thing? Why would I want to get away from it? I take refuge in that option. But don’t you think I love what I’m doing? Am I not being my own person? I’m not going to allow anyone to make me lose myself.
That’s why you have to keep to yourself sometimes, to know what you really want in life. What is it, who am I? And I do that. When I’m just so sick and everything is so magulo, I just turn to myself and say, “Today I know in my deepest level that I am an incredible woman. I am all that and more.”
I also know that I am a child. I have that baby in me. I also get scared. I may be strong, I may be a fighter, but I also have my fears, hurts, issues. I have a good side and I have a very nasty side, too. We all do.
Are you happy? I will get there. I’m getting there. The amount of money that’s stashed away in Germany, Switzerland, Hong Kong, whatever—it will never dictate your state of happiness. It’s your choice, you go for it, you work to get there.
Generally speaking, I can say I’m okay. I’m not super happy. But you know the artist in me, the child in me will always say, “You gotta be happy. You gotta get there. It’s a journey. You will get there.”
That’s why I do what I want to do. It’s good to not always be happy. I embrace the times when I’m going through really hurtful times because I come to know the difference between sorrow and pure joy, bliss. When you’re there, you’re able to say, “Oh I really had a good time during this period.” And I want to get there again, so you have something to look forward to.
There are many things in life you really can’t buy—the strength of your character, the confidence and love you have for yourself. You can’t buy them, and they’re must-haves.
What’s your birthday wish? World peace. Just kidding. (Laughs). I’m afraid to wish for myself because I really don’t know if I really truly want that, or if I’m really ready for what I want in life or what my fantasy is.
Copyright 2008 Philippine Daily Inquirer. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
To
subscribe to the Philippine Daily Inquirer newspaper in the Philippines,
call +63 2 896-6000 for Metro Manila and Metro Cebu or email your subscription request here.
Factual errors? Contact the
Philippine Daily Inquirer's day desk.
Believe this article violates journalistic ethics?
Contact the
Inquirer's Reader's Advocate.
Or write The Readers' Advocate:
c/o
Philippine Daily Inquirer
Chino RocesAvenue corner Yague and Mascardo Streets,
Makati City, Metro Manila, Philippines
Or fax nos. +63 2 8974793 to 94
![Zoom Image](javascript:popwin("http://images.inquirer.net/media/showbizandstyle/lifestyle/lifestyle/images/pic-03090601340448.jpg", 410, 565))
Zoom
