MANILA, Philippines ? Dear Emily,
I have a 25-year-old daughter who has been a problem since she was a kid. She got pregnant three years ago by a no-good guy much younger than she is. His parents never approved of their relationship and succeeded in separating them when their love child was barely a year old. The guy and his parents haven?t seen the kid since then.
My daughter entered another relationship with a mestizo who was notorious in the neighborhood for his temper. He?s a war freak and would beat up anyone, including his friends. When he started beating up my daughter, I got mad at him but my daughter kept on living with him. It was his last beating of her when she came to her senses and wanted the guy put in jail.
However, she found out she was pregnant after she left this horrible man. I had to suggest to her that she go back to him because of this pregnancy, but she refused.
I have to bear all these problems because my husband is an OFW and is not aware of what?s happening to our family. He is a very good husband and very hard-working. I hate to break his heart with this news about his favorite daughter.
I pity my first grandson, who is growing up without a father. And now, another baby is coming. My mind is full of anxiety.
JOYCE
In the wild, when offsprings of animals are able to fly and walk and eat on their own, they are either pushed out of the nest or abandoned by the parents who deem that they?re ready to fend for themselves.
It?s only humans who carry on their duties of parenting?ad infinitum, ad nauseam.
If your daughter is old enough to allow herself to get impregnated twice by the wrong men and still maintain her hard-headedness toward you, which you tolerate anyway and bear like a saint?I am curious to know if you are running for sainthood or whatever award it is they give to long-suffering people.
There?s nothing you can do about this new pregnancy. It?s there. Accept it. Has she even finished school? If yes, does she have enough skills to get a good job to support her two kids?
If not, is she going to rely again on her hardworking father for her life-line? The most important question is, does your daughter even have a plan B for her future?
For just a moment, let this thought simmer while considering yourself gone from her life. Who will she be leaning on for support? Or, put another way, who will she be a parasite to without you or your husband around?
Aren?t you doing her a very great disservice by continuing to accommodate her every whim at this late stage? Or when the going starts getting rough for her?
Enough already! Make her stand on her own two feet and allow her to start behaving like a responsible adult.
E-mail the author at emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph, Subject: Lifestyle, or send your letters to Inquirer. Log on to www.pbs.gov.ph and listen to Ms Marcelo co-host the program ?Kalikasan Vigilante,? 7:15-8:30 p.m., Monday-Friday, on dwBR 104.3 FM.
