MANILA, Philippines - The man who never played as a child grows up not knowing how to enjoy life.

Self-regulation, the power to surmount obstacles and control one?s emotions are skills learned by children while at play. The historian Howard Chudacoff has written a very insightful book tracing the history of play in America.

?Children At Play: An American History? echoes the sentiments of many educators, teachers, and parents that organized activities, excessive homework and overscheduling due to extracurricular activities are crowding out free time and constricting children?s imaginations and social skills.

Chudacoff says that, today, when you say play, the first thing that comes to mind are toys. ?Whereas when I would think of play in the 19th century, I would think of activity rather than an object,? he says.

In the past, children used to improvise a lot and had many opportunities to let their imagination soar.

Nowadays, children are given toys that hardly leave room for the imagination. Instead of using a broom as a horse, or a tree branch as a wand or sword, there are dolls dressed like (pardon the term) little bimbos, which little girls then emulate.

Conquering imaginary lands are a thing of the past, because now toys have become so high-tech that they can bring whatever it is you imagine right into your living room or playroom.

Chudacoff calls this the commercialization and co-optation of child?s play?a trend which has shrunk the size of children?s imaginative space.

Executive function

Gym classes, karate classes, summer camps are all products of 20th-century parenthood. A National Public Radio report found out that a growing number of psychologists believe these changes in what children do have also changed kids? cognitive and emotional development.

Studies show that time spent playing make-believe actually helps children develop a critical cognitive skill called executive function. This function has different elements, but a central one is the ability to self-regulate. Kids with good self-regulation are able to control their emotions and behavior, resist impulses, and exert self-control and discipline.

This also explains why play therapy is often the best tool used by psychologists to help process and treat children with emotional issues or disorders. Nowadays, play therapy is also being offered as a corporate workshop to help frazzled executives de-stress.

As Laura Berk explained in the NPR report, make-believe is such a powerful tool for building self-discipline because, during make-believe, children engage in what?s called private speech: They talk to themselves about what they are going to do and how they are going to do it.

It?s not just children who use private speech to control themselves. ?As adults, we?re often using it to surmount obstacles, to master cognitive and social skills, and to manage our emotions,? said Berk.

Unfortunately, the more structured the play, the more children?s private speech declines. Because children?s play is so focused on lessons and leagues, and because kids? toys increasingly inhibit imaginative play, kids aren?t getting a chance to practice policing themselves.

When they have that opportunity, said Berk, the results are clear: Self-regulation improves.

Creating scenarios

I was an only child for close to seven years. To this day I recall how I?d spend hours on end making up stories and dialogues for the family members of my little playhouse.

I would lose myself in creating scenarios for my little family.

This summer, we must think of ways to provide opportunities and venues for our children to indulge in creative and imaginative play. Don?t just shower them with toys and enroll them in countless summer enrichment programs.

Be prudent in picking out classes for your children. Choose classes that will help them use their creativity and imagination. My rule has always been something to feed the different aspects of my child?a sport to enhance the physical side, learning a musical instrument or learning an artistic skill to hone the aesthetic side, and lots of room for those moments when they can just rest and let their imagination soar.

Preparation for the next school year only comes toward the end of summer.

Summer should be joyful and restful period for a child, a needed break to enjoy one?s childhood in the best way possible.

If we want our children to grow up into adults who are adept at resolving conflicts, surmounting obstacles and regulating their emotions, we need to start now.

Apart from education, this is one of the best legacies we can leave them as parents.

E-mail the author at cathybabao@gmail.com