(Since she wrote this, the author has given birth to Gabriel Lucas Locsin-Chan?by hypnobirthing?in London.)

LONDON, England?I have barely two weeks left of my first pregnancy and I sit here, staring out of my apartment window, reflecting on the last 38 weeks of what everyone told me would be a life-altering experience.

Is something wrong with me, because in fact, my life has not changed that much, save for the giant bump that blocks my view of my feet and has made cutting my toenails somewhat of an acrobatic act. My engagement and wedding rings still fit and fit loosely, and I never experienced the food cravings everyone said I?d not be able to control.

You could say, I?ve been lucky, but I wasn?t always so cheery. I spent 31 of my 38 weeks confused and terrified of the whole process.

Pregnancy is not, except for medical reasons, a 40-week jail sentence, nor is it reason for women to turn divas and demand this-and-that from their husbands or housekeepers.

Life does not stop during pregnancy. So, despite warnings to the contrary, I flew with my doctor?s permission, in both my second and third trimesters?alone. I flew in from Moscow (20-hour flight). I did not fill my roller bag to capacity and I was not hesitant to ask my seat mate?s help in putting it into the overhead compartment.

Crews are more than happy to accommodate our sometimes-irrational needs, such as more than the usual amount of water refills to keep us hydrated.

This leads me to the one thing I really hated about being pregnant?not being able to eat what I wanted. My husband was a food ?nazi.? He?d give me bad looks every time I bought or ordered salad, soft cheeses, or my favorite food, sushi.

While I?m choosy than usual, I believe having a bit of everything is better than complete deprivation, and so I gave in to a single serve of soft cheese at a friend?s party and ordered smoked salmon maki once in a while.

My dad was particularly neurotic about my getting stretch marks and my mother took it upon herself to buy every bottle of cocoa butter cream, lotion and oil she could find to save me from this unwanted badge of motherhood. As I found out, I was allergic to cocoa butter and using them only exacerbated the itchiness around my tummy. I was even scratching in my sleep!

In the end, what worked for me came in my final trimester, an Avent oil spray made of orange and almond oils, which I found here in London. As if by magic, the dry, black scratch marks that had been there since the beginning of my pregnancy, disappeared and my skin now feels better than ever.

Skin care

I also had to change my skincare regimen. I couldn?t figure out what was causing my oily skin in dry and wintry Moscow and upon further research, discovered it was my hormones. I also got what looked like hives around my knees, and my legs became scaly and dry. I bought a ton of moisturizing body washes and lotions, but nothing worked.

One day, tired of looking like an alligator, I chucked them all out and went back to basics?Johnson?s baby products and Neutrogena?s original formula cleansers worked perfectly, and in the former?s case, was tons cheaper than all the expensive toiletries I had used. Trial and error, therefore, is very important during pregnancy, and moms-to-be should not be afraid to experiment.

Another harrowing aspect of pregnancy is weight gain and if anything scared me the most, it was the thought of putting back all the pounds I had lost (about 30 of them) while taking my Masters in Sydney.

Most pregnancy books and sites advise a mere increase of 300 calories per day during pregnancy and that?s not a lot.

In fact, for normal weight women, a weight gain of between 25 and 35 pounds is just right and believe me, with the baby?s weight and other pregnancy factors coming in, you don?t need to eat that much to gain that much.

Wardrobe choice

This leads me to my advice about buying maternity clothes, which is, don?t until you absolutely need to. In all the excitement, my parents who were all over the globe when I announced my pregnancy bought me heaps of maternity pants and dresses. My mom went all the way to a US size 18, thinking that I would eventually reach that size. I never did.

Furthermore, pregnancy clothes, to be honest, are not tailor-made and therefore, are always a bad fit. I found jeans that fit nicely around my tummy, but whose leg area could have fit an elephant! What did save me were stretchy, cotton pieces. I bought leggings in basic colors, such as black, brown, blue, beige and white, and I live in them.

Simple

I kept my tops simple, soft and comfy, and always with flattering, not fattening, necklines. Empire, faux wrap and V-necklines dominated my wardrobe and I chose colors that complemented my leggings to make dressing up less of a chore. I also didn?t buy lots of pieces, but chose to mix-and-match.

The classic white shirt was another favorite, particularly those that were fitted, to accentuate my tummy?s shape, not to hide it. I did not, and still do not, wear sweats, which frankly make everyone look bad (they?re made for the gym, so wear them there!), and trapeze dresses, which make even the thinnest mom-to-be look like a tent (my mom bought so many of these for me and they?re hideous!).

Another favorite of mine, and of one of my best friends, from whom I adopted the pregnancy style, was to pair Indian-inspired tops with white pants. In Manila?s warm climate and with my ever-fluctuating body temperature, this combination was comfy and easy to match with accessories, such as bags, shoes and jewelry, which by the way, are a great way to dress up your pregnancy look.

Perhaps my most important advice is about the process of giving birth itself.

I looked at birthing as possibly the worst day of my life, and approached each coming week with an ever-intensifying fear of the big day. That is, until I met Patti Good. Patti is my hypnobirthing teacher and working with her has made all the difference in my outlook.

My cousin in the US suggested I take hypnobirthing, a form of pain management that is supposed to replace the traditional epidural; it requires only the mother and father?s commitment. At first, this was a cost-saving exercise for us, since private hospital care in the UK is horrendously expensive, but now it is my primary choice of how I want to give birth.

Meditative

One of the first lessons in hypnobirthing is the origin of fear, because as Patti pointed out correctly, our birthing culture instills it in us. Almost every TV show has a screaming mother. Patti showed us a different side to birthing. We watched hypnobirths, which were calm and relaxed, despite not being devoid of the physical challenges of delivery.

Hypnobirthing mothers were in a meditative state, concentrating on their relaxation and breathing techniques, and only moaning and groaning when their bodies needed it. Fathers sat beside their spouses, completely involved, talking and encouraging them through contractions and ensuring that all their needs were looked after. There were no nurses, only midwives for the actual birth and in some cases, doulas, who acted as secondaries to the husbands.

I?m not saying I won?t scream in pain during the actual birth, but watching those videos, learning hypnobirthing and spending time with someone as positive about birth as Patti dispelled my fears about the big day. She even changed the birthing terminology to terms more positive.

I don?t call ?contractions? as such, but ?surges?, which tell me that each forward movement is actually part of my baby?s journey. I don?t ?push?, I ?nudge? my baby into the world. He is after all, a little one and pushing is violent, nudging is softer. You are helping your baby out, not forcing him out. Most importantly, we changed ?labor? to ?birth?, because it is the beginning of your little one?s life and that should never be seen as something arduous, but miraculous.

Some pain is to be expected, after all, a person is coming out of you, but if you go with your body and not against it, it will be bearable. Birthing is a completely natural process and we are made for it, so what do we have to fear?

Everything in our reproductive system is made to ensure the baby comes out, so why do we have to force something that is inevitable?

Birth plan

Most Filipinos go into the delivery room, leave everything to their doctors and exit feeling violated or traumatized. Hands-on moms-to-be in the west have found a simple way to avoid this and it is actually something any respectable and respectful doctor should have with a patient?a birth plan. The plan outlines parental preferences for the birthing process, from the onset of labor, until the mother and child are discharged.

How do you want your pain managed? What position would you like to give birth in? Who do you want in the delivery room? Do you want your husband to cut the umbilical cord? Do you want to breastfeed immediately? These and many more questions that you will likely not want to have to deal with during the actual birth can be answered by preparing a birth plan. Tell your doctor what you want, so that you won?t be shocked by what you get.

In the end, I?ve learned that you have to be your own boss. It is your body and your baby after all. Take in all the advice, good or bad, solicited or otherwise, and use it all to springboard your research on this most wondrous time in your life.

And finally, limit your exposure to negative images and people. The last thing you need is to be surrounded by fear, negativity and pessimism. In the end, the only people whose feelings and health matters is yours and your little one?s. This is your time. Relish it, live it and love it.