MANILA, Philippines ? Dear Emily,
I met my wife of five years in Dubai where we both worked in an accounting firm. The first four and a half years of our marriage was perfect.
Things started to change when I moved to the US from Dubai last year after my immigration petition was approved. She was not able to move with me because I was petitioned as single, but we already made plans on how she could follow me.
I am now in the U.S. and I?ve started to hear some bad things about her having an affair in Dubai. Knowing how common those things happen in that place, it made me think of letting her go and move on with my life.
I?ve asked her several times if there's truth to all the rumors and she denied them all. But what?s troubling are the comments I get from our common friends in Dubai who tell me the same phrase: ?Sorry, but we don?t want to get involved.?
What I want to hear from them is: ?There?s no truth to those rumors!?
Should I trust her and continue this marriage though part of my brain is convinced that it is true? I love my wife but I won?t hesitate to let her go if the rumors are true.
TROUBLED IN SEATTLE
Marriage is a very complex state and you?d be surprised at how many, so many ?perfect? relationships with history behind them, unravel and dissipate into thin air?with no comebacks.
Can your five years hold up knowing that?
How was your marriage before you left Dubai for the US?
Was it fun enough, romantic enough, or basically strong enough for your wife to withstand the temptations common in those places, as you said?
A poet once said that the tragedy of love is not death or separation. The tragedy of love is indifference.
If your marriage is worth saving, then save it with every ounce of your being. If she still refuses despite everything, then, just let her go.
Give her as much manueverability to find the path back to you again, if ever. You don't catch an elusive butterfly by running after it. You stay still and wait for it come around.
E-mail the author at emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph, Subject: Lifestyle, or send your letters to Inquirer. Log on to www.pbs.gov.ph and listen to Ms Marcelo co-host the program ?Kalikasan Vigilante,? 7:15-8:30 p.m., Monday-Friday, on dwBR 104.3 FM.
