MANILA, Philippines?In a house made of scrap wood, with a roof plastered with loose, rusty iron sheets, the six-year-old boy runs around with his younger cousin. In between running after each other, they would scribble faces and other figures on a paper on top of a recycled table.

While we interviewed his father, the boy would listen while clutching his pretty mother?s picture on a heart-shaped plastic frame. Occasionally, in between drawing, he and his cousin would leave and play with the insects crawling around. His mother, who left for Kuwait three years ago, has not been communicating with the family regularly. Despite the deep sadness that this family feels, the boy is still able to play and be happy.

These are scenes we continue to witness in poverty-stricken areas. No matter where we go, no matter what the circumstance the child may be in, he is able to play.

Children as well as adolescents are ?truth-tellers.? They continue to be our teachers. With the number of years of working with children and their families (street children, gifted, in natural disasters, abused, etc.), we have learned a lot from them. Children see the situation clearly. They are aware of the situation and most of the time would try to solve the problem. They lead the way and show us how to cope, how to gather strength. They are able to pull themselves up from a situation that is full of sadness and longing. Their wisdom and resilience enable the adults to see clearly what is true and healing for the family.

Play

What pulls them up? What helps them cope? What makes them hold on despite the unbearable, sometimes unspeakable pain?

Children?s natural way of coping is through play. Through games, they are able to act out and make sense of the situation that they have no control of. It is an avenue to help them release feelings that might otherwise be disapproving to the adults around. Through play they are able to express how the family situation is affecting them and thus gain control over their situation. Play is ?empowering?; it is also ?self-healing.?

Play can also be in the form of other expressive activities (like art, journal writing, music, movement, etc.) that can help the child or the adolescent release his emotions. Through art, a child can draw her emotions without needing to articulate it.

Music, arts therapy

Music is also one form of expressive therapy. Singing a favorite song, composing a song, playing with a musical instrument, being part of a band ?jamming,? dancing to a favorite song, all help them cope with the absence of their mother.

Creating and telling stories, composing poems also help OFW children express their emotions in a non-threatening manner. Release of pent-up emotions can also be done through the body through sports and dancing.

For others, remembering, looking and admiring the beauty of nature put them through an otherwise sad and heavy situation.

Engaging in household chores can also be a form of coping for these children and adolescents. This is also a time for bonding with the other members of the family.

It is important, though, that time to do work at home is balanced by the time to play and to do other activities that can help the child express how the family situation is affecting him.

School

Aside from the activities that they can do at home, the school can be a major source of support for the children. Knowing that they are good at a certain subject or at a certain skill help them look forward to going to school and cope with the longing and sadness they feel.

This feeling of being competent builds self-confidence. Activities in school are also important?being part of a singing or dancing group, basketball team, scouting group, etc.

Friends in school are an important source of support. OFW children can turn to their peers to share their innermost feelings.

Teachers can be a source of encouragement in affirming them. From their teachers they learn determination to succeed and holding on to dreams and realizing them.

Nurturing presence

The father?s nurturing presence is also crucial in helping these children and adolescent cope with their mother?s absence.

The support system outside the nuclear family system is also crucial. A nurturing lola, a lolo who tells stories, a cousin to play with, an uncle who helps take care of children are just some of the other significant caregivers that can help the child and the adolescent cope with the situation.

Unless our economy improves, mothers will continue to leave their children behind in the hope of finding a better future for them. What remains then are an increasing number of children growing up without their mothers. How this will affect their future and the future of the generations to come remains to be seen as the demand for overseas Filipino female workers continues to rise.

What is essential is that the adults (the other parent, extended family members, neighbors, teachers and other caregivers) left behind with the children are able to harness all the forms of resource and support to help these children cope.

Children can cope. They are naturally resilient. What is important is that the adults listen or ?tune in? to the children and they will tell us the best way of coping for them.