MANILA, Philippines?Below are stories of families currently experiencing the ups and downs of the OFW experience. Their names have been changed to protect their privacy.

Mirasol family

Romy Sr., 55, and Aurora, 41, have five children. The two eldest children are married while the three younger ones, all adolescents, live with them. Romy also has a two-month-old daughter from an extra-marital affair.

A year ago, Aurora left to work in Qatar as a reflexologist but ended up as an ?all-around.? She left so that the children could go to school. But her departure saddled them with a huge debt, resulting in their having to mortgage the family home.

Romy has had to learn how to budget their expenses and to take care of the children?s school needs. He works as a tricycle driver until the wee hours of the morning. He says that the work helps him cope with loneliness. He also says that he used to drink but his children didn?t approve of it, so he stopped.

The youngest in the family, Romy Jr., 15, echoes the overwhelming sadness felt by the whole family: ?Nawala ang ilaw ng tahanan, nawala ?yung laging nasa bahay, nawala ?yung nag-aalaga ng bahay at ?yung nag-aalaga din sa amin.?

Romy Jr. says talking to his mother on the cell phone twice a month is what helps alleviate the sadness. Household activities such as fixing the house and doing the laundry with his siblings, as well as studying, have also helped him cope with his mother?s absence.

His passion for singing and solving logic puzzles and his aspirations to finish school and pass auditions for a national singing competition on TV have helped him rise above feelings of burden and sadness.

The Mirasols hope that Aurora will return home for good. Romy Sr. says nothing good has come out of her leaving. ?Parang wala namang magandang nangyayari. Lahat kami nangungulila. Wala akong nakitang improvement sa buhay namin.?

Fernandez family

Six years ago, Arcadio and Aloha lost their jobs when the restaurant they worked for burned down. Soon after Aloha left for Singapore to work as a caregiver. Arcadio was reluctant to let his wife leave, but both of them decided that the sacrifice would ensure their children?s future.

Arcadio says it took him about two months to adjust to the changes that were required of his wife?s departure. He stayed home, did domestic chores such as laundry and cooking, cleaning the house and even bathing son Jolo, 10. He says he had difficulty with Jeralyn, who is an adolescent and has many issues regarding body changes and low grades in school.

It is a plus that the Fernandez couple have a good relationship. Arcadio writes to Aloha every day and she, for her part, calls him daily. They pledge their faithfulness to each other, and respect each other deeply. He is also thankful that his wife has a good employer.

Arcadio is now able to buy most of the children?s needs and has adjusted to the role of mothering his kids. He is fully attuned to and sensitive to their physical and emotional needs. His children are a source of comfort, and he copes by spending a lot of time bonding with them and observing simple family traditions. His wish and goal is clear: that their children finish schooling and his wife does not get sick. This gives him hope and energy to go on in spite of his wife?s absence.

Lirio family

Joko, 55, was only able to finish second year in college. He used to work at Meralco as part of the maintenenance staff but is now unemployed.

His wife Julie, 32, a high-school graduate, was able to study reflexology under a program sponsored by a religious group. She has been working in the Middle East for two years and two months. She works as a ?therapist-reflexologist? and domestic helper.

Joko and Julie have five children. The oldest is Gio, 15; followed by two girls, Bella, 14 and Maya, 13; and two boys, Jay, 8 and Ernie, 6. All three boys live with Joko, while the two girls live with their maternal grandparents in Pangasinan. When Julie left for Kuwait in 2004, she asked Joko to quit his job to take care of the boys.

Joko says Julie failed to send them money for almost eight months during the past year. He says she became steeped in debt. He also talks about his frustration and feelings of being trapped because his wife threatened not to send him money if he decided to get a job, yet in the end she would fail to send them money anyway.

During those times he would drink to numb the pain. However, he had to quit the habit because he could no longer afford it.

Communication between husband and wife is not regular. Joko often gets upset to find that Julie calls his neighbor instead of him to check up on the children. He has also tried writing to his wife but she doesn?t respond to his letters.

Jay, 8, likes to draw and his drawings reflect his desire for his parents to be together. He says he is happiest when he is with his friends in school but also appreciates how his Papa takes care of him now that his Mama is away.

Despite the family?s present condition, Jay remains optimistic about his future and hopes to be a doctor someday.

Gio, the eldest, says that music and peers have helped him cope with the sadness. He copes with the sadness by playing his guitar.

Gio seems to harbor some resentment about his mother?s leaving. He feels that she cares more about her work than about him and the family. He thinks staying with the family instead of leaving is a ?bigger sacrifice.? He is also very disappointed when his Mama doesn?t call them.

Hopeful, resilient

Gio though, remains hopeful, confident and resilient despite the sadness and anger that he is feeling. Like Jay, he holds on to hope and believes that things will end up happily for him and his family.

Despite the overwhelming feeling of powerlessness and helplessness that is especially felt by the father, and some of the children, many of these family members have displayed an admirable resilience and eventually found coping mechanisms that worked for them individually.

Out of the pervasive sadness they have been able to draw strength from deep within themselves to look beyond the present situation and imagine a better, happier, more beautiful future when the family will be truly complete.