MANILA, Philippines - ?Dad, it?s not even eight yet... ?

This is actually late for him; he?s been up since five, and this is his third call. He used to walk around the block before breakfast, at about this time, but can?t manage that anymore. So, he calls.

?Third call? Really?? He sounds dismayed.

?What is it, Dad??

?Just wanted to know how the world was treating you.?

?Not too badly, Dad. You okay??

He chuckles. Every time I ask him how he is, he thinks it?s funny. He says he hasn?t felt good in a while. But, really, for one his age, he is in remarkable health.

?I?m just old, Kiddo. Not too bad, though, when you think of the alternative.? He attributes everything he feels and doesn?t feel to his age.

?I?ll have to get breakfast ready,? I tell him, signaling I must get off to let the living-out maid in and give her breakfast instructions. ?I?ll call you later.? It?s a promise I always make but don?t always keep.

?Don?t forget, Kiddo.?

Bits and pieces

It?s easy to let him go; he doesn?t cling. Time was when I couldn?t have enough of him. I?m the oldest of a full brother and 13 half-siblings (so far as I have discovered). He was obviously a busy and active man.

We all got bits and pieces of him, grew content with our rations, and just stopped wanting more. Now, at his age and condition, he is a handful for full-time caring. In any case, he doesn?t want anyone on him full-time. Come to think of it, he never wanted that and was probably precisely meant to be rotated among us.

He always wants to be elsewhere and looks for who is not there, and once in a while looks for those no longer there now and ever shall be. But until Mom?s death last year he had managed still, despite physical constraints, to shuttle between two homes.

He has, by the grace of God?and genes?made it to the safe side of life. At 89, he is out of tragedy?s grasp. People who have known him will read his obituary in dry-eyed resignation. Sometimes when we are out and some people look at him intently (he was a five-term congressman, after all) he would say, ?Maybe they?re thinking I should have been dead by now.?

I tell him that, for someone who has lived to an age beyond capability of sin, salvation must be guaranteed. But he is little consoled: ?I have nothing against heaven, but dying...?

Loyal companion

Indeed, not only does heaven wait. It seems to indulge him. Time has become his friend, healing old wounds he inflicted and blurring bad scenes he created. His sense of humor has been a loyal companion; it always gets him through potentially awkward situations.

His appetite is still hearty, although rather out of the normal order. He sometimes craves bacalao ala vizcaina with crispy French bread for breakfast. My half-sister Pia and I used to take him some Sundays to Bruno?s, the barbershop, for the full treatment, which inevitably sends him into siesta, giving Pia and me time to catch up on each other?s lives.

Now the phone calls are becoming rare, the breakfasts at Bizu and even Sundays at Bruno?s have had to stop. We only take him out for medical checkups, especially after too many outings have ended in emergency rooms.

He once collapsed walking toward a restaurant for some anniversary lunch, turned pale, glassy eyed, unresponsive, and had to be delivered by ambulance to the Makati Medical Center, with me clasping his cold, limp hands throughout the ride. But quickly enough after medication, he was all right again.

And was he all right again! Once the doctor had flown off to deal with another emergency, leaving unanswered questions he had asked to test his level of awareness?What?s your name? Do you know where you are? Do you know her? (me, that is)?he looked at me and said: ?Who was that guy, and why was he asking me those stupid questions??

Reasons to laugh

Life to Dad?what?s left of it, anyway?gives him many reasons yet to laugh. Often, he would burst into uncontrollable giggling until he would be gasping for breath, face purple, eyes teary. Sometimes I imagine that?s how he?ll go.

Those fits used to irritate Mom, who could only imagine he was making fun of her, which was true sometimes.

For instance, he just couldn?t get over how she had managed to grow from 100 to 160 pounds. He was convinced many men would be rich if they insured their wives against obesity. But in Mom?s case, for all the weight she had gained, she remained a beautiful woman to her death. Anyway, it helped keep the peace that she had become hard of hearing.

But Dad laughs at himself even more. Catching a glimpse of his full image in the mirror wall at a Chinese restaurant, he staggered and grabbed my arm. Shaking his head and giggling, he could hardly let the words out.

?How did I get this old? I must be the oldest person in this place. You don?t know how that feels, Kiddo,? he said.

I remember how he regarded doddering old men when he was still young and frisky. ?There goes another argument against old age!? he would say.

Now old and doddering himself, and constantly looking for Mom, he doesn?t yet want to go where he can find her.