MANILA, Philippines ? Dear Emily,
My wife is now pregnant with her boyfriend?s child. This is not easy for me since we?ve been married for 17 years. We?ve only been apart two years and that was when she went abroad to find a better opportunity as a dentist in Dubai while I stayed behind with our four kids.
I waited two years for her to get a visa to enable me to follow her, but it never came. Instead, I learned about the relationship. On the third year I managed to get a visit visa for myself and decided to surprise her.
It wasn?t really a surprise since she was able to find out about it. She admitted her ongoing relationship and called it ?finished? between us.
I resigned from my job in Manila and was able to get a very good offer, not in Dubai, but in Abu Dhabi. I wanted to prove to her that I can make it on my own which I did. The job offer was something I couldn?t refuse which included free accommodations and a car.
I still love my wife despite everything. But it?s becoming more confusing and painful, despite the counseling, soul searching and spiritual reflections I?ve gone through.
I can?t seem to accept losing my wife. We are in our early 40s and the 15 years of being together is not something I can just throw away. Should I let my wife go and move on with my life?
MR. ABU DHABI
Is the Pope Catholic? Does the rain come down from the sky?
How else can you fix your relationship with this woman, your wife who allowed herself to be impregnated by another man?but to already close what was once a marriage? What more do you want from her when clearly she doesn?t want anything more from you?
It hurts, it batters the ego, and it confuses your mind no end?but she has terminated your relationship by that one very obvious declaration, and that is that.
Yes, you must move on for your sake and for your children?s. Be the best father you possibly can. Take care of them, nurture their emotional being, feed their minds with the best education, and make them exemplary human beings despite being abandoned by their mother.
That?s the best revenge you can do to your wife?that she sees her children grow up mature, well-educated, and fantastic members of society?without any help from her. Show her that in leaving you, she made you a better person.
E-mail the author at emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph, Subject: Lifestyle, or send your letters to Inquirer. Log on to www.pbs.gov.ph and listen to Ms Marcelo co-host the program ?Kalikasan Vigilante,? 7:15-8:30 p.m., Monday-Friday, on dwBR 104.3 FM.
