Emilys Post
Ex-lovers, both married, rekindle their romance
By Emily A. Marcelo
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 04:37:00 07/06/2008
MANILA, Philippines – Dear Emily,
I had a girlfriend back in high school and we broke up when we were in college. Our paths recently crossed again and, again, we fell in love. We both live in Europe and we have yet to see each other though after that fateful day in college. We are now in our late 30s.
Sounds a happy ending huh? No. We are now both married with two kids each.
We are not happy anymore with our respective partners because of the usual issues that married couples moan about. These issues though have long been issues before our relationship started. Honestly, if not for the kids, we could have done a runner.
The issue here is being happy. We want to live together as a happy couple.
Would it be too much to ask for happiness?
JAKE
So you’ve rekindled your love for each other and sparks are flying high and hot again. You’ve started planning this and that and everything else to quote you, “to live as a happy couple together.” And you even added drama to the occasion by asking the ultimate question—“would that be too much to ask for happiness?”
How unhappy are you with both your marriages? Are your respective spouses mutually unhappy with their relationship with the two of you as you are with them? And please, please, don’t bring in the children in the equations as your excuse. They should never be the mitigating factor in a tragic relationship. You will be creating more unhappy individuals that way and this cycle of tragedy will never end because of it. Let’s stop it right here.
If you think that your marriage and hers have reached the proverbial cliff and it’s down down down from hereon—then—get off and get out of it as soon as you possibly can. There’s no use holding on if it’s truly the end of the road, dead end! Just make sure that this rekindling is not hormone-driven.
Yes, you were in love once. But this can also only be a fever so easily cured by a two-week tryst somewhere romantic. Wouldn’t it be more tragic if such hot, torrid, spicy, breathless pining for each other turn out to be just another dizzying affair that will fizzle out in a short while? Test the water. Roll both your situations in your mouth and weigh in all the circumstances on why a life with this old girlfriend will not turn out like the marriage you’re leaving. How sure are you that you won’t become unhappy one day soon with, to use your words, “the usual issues that married couples moan about?” Sleep over it a long time. Then decide.
But, hey, it’s your life. Do whatever floats your boat or flies her kite. Life is short.
E-mail the author at emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph, Subject: Lifestyle, or send your letters to Inquirer. Log on to www.pbs.gov.ph and listen to Ms Marcelo co-host the program “Kalikasan Vigilante,” 7:15-8:30 p.m., Monday-Friday, on dwBR 104.3 FM.
|
