MANILA, Philippines - His name may no longer ring a bell today, but to the likes of former models Bessie Badilla, Mara Spirig, Dianne Benisano, Tesa Totengco, Denden Abesamis and designers such as Ben Farrales, Pitoy Moreno, Inno Sotto and Barge Ramos, Benjie Toledo was a much-loved colleague.

Blessed with the build of an athlete and the grace of a dancer, Toledo was one of the industry?s most sought-after models in the ?70s until he moved to the US in the late ?80s.

Before cancer claimed his life last June 26 in New York, Toledo was able to fly home last year to do a homecoming show at the Forbes Park home of the late Chito Magrigal-Collantes, former social directress of the old Hyatt hotel.

The show, which also featured Toledo?s colleagues, was to be his and Chito?s last.

It was at the Hyatt where Toledo and his contemporaries did daily luncheon shows wearing the creations of Sotto and other leading lights of fashion.

Having grown up as an orphan, the single Toledo had no family of his own. His family consisted of friends from the fashion industry, including Ramos, who wrote the e-mail below to his friends.

By Barge Ramos
Contributor

MY FRIEND JAY BONOAN AND I WENT to visit Benjie at St. Joseph Hospital in Yonkers this afternoon. Jay?s brother Pocholo offered to drive us to the hospital.

I didn?t realize it was that far, a little more than an hour?s drive out of New York City. Jay?s brother, Dr. Tody Bonoan, and his wife Michiko have ?adopted? Benjie for the longest time. We arrived about5 p.m. at the hospital and found Benjie in high spirits.

Jojit, Michiko?s sister, was there.

Benjie was genuinely happy to see me, and we reminisced about the 1991 show we did at the Philippine Center, with Tesa Totengco, Ces and Gary. I told him about all our concerned friends e-mailing one another about him and he smiled. He is very lucid and still maintains his sense of humor. Pocholo joked if he wanted ?sisig and San Miguel beer.?

?Yeah, that would be great!? he said.

We had just started joking and laughing when the two Jamaican black nurses arrived to take him for a CT Scan downstairs. Benjie managed to stand up by himself and embraced me before lying down on the stretcher and being wheeled out of our sight.

?We?ll just be here waiting for you, when you get back,? I said.

Meanwhile Jojit updated us on Benjie?s health. Apparently he has been having stomach pains for the last four years. Last November, the day after Thanksgiving, he phoned Tody and asked for help because of the intense pain. He was diagnosed with fourth-stage cancer, the cancer cells having invaded his liver, kidney, pancreas, adrenals and also his skull.

Tody had told Benjie last night about his declining health, and that his body cannot take further chemotherapy. His weight is down to 130 lbs. He has lost his hair, and his stomach bloats due to fluids retained in his lungs.

Tody laid out the options for Benjie to decide: to continue hospitalization, to go to Calvary Hospice at the Bronx (a state-of-the-art hospice with his own ho tel-like room, with 24/7 visiting hours and staff) or stay in St. Joseph Nursing Home.

Benjie seemed to have agreed to go to Calvary Hospice but wants to see it first (?Meron bang swimming pool?? he joked.)

Half an hour later, Benjie was wheeled back to the room, with a tube on his side, to drain out the fluid in his lungs. It was difficult to talk with him and keep a straight face this time, seeing his condition. A Korean doctor came to inject him with pain killer in the stomach.

Even though his eyes became heavy with sleep, he still asked me about fashion in Manila and what events are to come. I kept talking to him until I knew he was getting drowsy from the pain killer.

?Can I have a photo with you?? I asked before we left. ?Sure,? he said and took off the oxygen tube from his nose. My friend Jay took the photo of us together. We said our goodbyes, and left him to sleep.

And then Bessie arrived with her daughter Ines. We met at the corridor, near the elevator. ?He?s about to fall asleep,? I told Bessie. ?Better hurry and see him.?

Tody and Michiko invited Jay, Pocholo and me to their house for dinner. As the three brothers reminisced about their childhood years in Manila, I thought about Benjie?s early years, growing up in Hospicio de San Jose, knowing only his mother?s name, and now, after all these years, ending up in another hospice called Calvary.

I want to believe that Benjie has been given a grace from God, difficult as it is to understand, an invitation to share in the sufferings of Christ. My prayer for him is for Jesus to overshadow and overpower his pain, to the point where the two of them become finally one.