HO CHI MINH CITY?Last week?s column on OFW families drew great response, I feel I must tackle the issue further and share a bit of my own story.

I?m writing from Vietnam, here on a brief visit to see my husband who has been working here for the last several months. I?m here now, but my heart is in two places. I left behind in Manila two children, whom I remain in touch with through text messaging, a program called Chikka that enables me to send free text messages and the ever reliable Yahoo Messenger. Despite the distance and my longing for the kids, I cannot complain. It?s a blessing to be able to visit a spouse who works far away from home. Yet, it?s never easy.

We could have opted to live with him here but that would have pulled the children out of school. My eldest child enters college next year and my son is thriving in his new school. So we content ourselves momentarily with visits, chats and overseas calls.

I dread the arrival of our monthly cellular phone bills because often, the cost is enough to buy a round trip ticket to and from Ho Chi Minh City. Then again, it?s never easy to just pack up and go. And every time you say goodbye to the ones you leave behind, a part of yourself dies.

And the never-ending worry that one has while one is away. Just this week, my children had to face a serious crisis back home. I thank God for the angels He sent our way?well-meaning and supportive friends, wonderful neighbors and relatives who saw to it that the children made it through each day that I was gone. ?How many more tulogs before you come home mom?? my youngest asked me a few days after the crisis was over. It?s a question that breaks a mother?s heart.

I often wondered why God allowed this situation to happen. It is perhaps so we could have a first-hand experience and glimpse into the hearts of families whose one parent is working overseas.

OFW parent

Statistics now show that 10 percent of our population has one parent who is an OFW. In my husband?s family alone, I have a sister-in-law working as a nurse in Oxford, and then there?s us.

Suddenly, a part of me could relate to some issues the wives were complaining about. They had longed for more frequent conversations with their spouses, for the fathers to be more involved in their children?s lives. For some, it was the plea for the husband or wife not to renew a contract and to be a family once more.

My family is in a better situation simply because we can travel to visit, or he comes home, but still, it is not the same. My children miss their father, just as other children in many homes do. I single parent in a sense, and it is by no means, an easy task.

It will be a long time yet before we can stem the tide of the OFW phenomenon. Sadly, I can see the effects in many families. This is the reason I feel very strongly about the private sector putting its hands together to help those who are left behind. Orientation programs for those leaving have to be strengthened. Laws protecting our OFW?s against illegal recruitment need to have more teeth.

For those left behind, the private sector, the firms who benefit from the blood and sweat of OFW?s should create advocacy programs to strengthen the OFW family. At the very least they can fund psychosocial programs that endeavor to improve the lives of the spouse and children who are left behind. Values education is essential. Banks, remittance companies who benefit from OFW?s need to educate the beneficiaries on how to best spend and invest their money.

Tomorrow I return home, but sometimes I ask myself, where is home really? And is the momentary sacrifice all worth it? A friend who lives and works overseas said it?s like planting and replanting your heart each time you leave. And with each replanting, you leave parts of yourself with the person you left behind, until the next time you are together again.

E-mail the author at cathybabao@gmail.com