Sex education starts at home
By Rebecca B. Singson
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 22:45:00 08/29/2008
MANILA, Philippines—Little do you know that since the day your kids are born, you are already sending them messages about their sexuality. You dress them in pink to signify they are a girl and blue if they are a boy.
Being held and touched, kissed and hugged, snuggled and tickled allows babies to experience comforting, positive physical sensations associated with being loved. The unique type of physical intimacy and emotional attachment between parent and infant can be the early foundation of more mature forms of physical intimacy and love that develop later as part of mature sexuality.
The way you touch and cuddle, snuggle, tickle and kiss them lets them experience comforting and positive physical sensations which make them know they are loved by you. The input you give—the family experiences you create from day one of life will determine whether your child—will develop a healthy and positive sexual attitude.
Through your words, as well as your silence, your verbal and nonverbal responses and reactions teach your child your values and attitudes about sexuality.
Getting to know the body
Children need to be taught the right labels for their body parts. A penis is the correct word for the boy’s male organ, and the vagina is the correct label for the female sex organ. When you give camouflage names for the sexual body parts, you are conveying the message that there is something wrong or unmentionable or embarrassing about them. The children therefore are quick to absorb the idea that their genitals are something to be ashamed of.
Infants and toddlers naturally touch their genitals during diaper changes or their baby boys have frequent erections. They are curious what lies underneath their clothes and enjoy running around naked. Your verbal and nonverbal reactions (with facial expressions and body language) are what give your child’s first lessons in sexuality. If you show disapproval with anger, surprise or embarrassment, you teach your child that this curiosity about his or her body is very abnormal, when in fact, it should be a normal part of life.
If your child comes home calling his male organ some word he heard from others like “birdie” or “wee wee,” you can say, “Some people call it that, but that’s just a made up word. The real name is penis (or vagina as the case may be.)
Children may also be curious about seeing a brother, sister, mother or father in the shower and this is usually how they learn about physical differences between boys and girls.
(Dr. Rebecca B. Singson, an advocate for information on health issues related to the female reproductive organ, holds clinics at Makati Medical Center and at Asian Hospital and Medical Center. E-mail her at obmd@surfshop.net.ph.)
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