Read Part 1

(Conclusion)

MANILA, Philippines?By age 2 or 3, a child starts to develop gender identity. This awareness is what gives them the sense of being a male or female. At this age, a toddler starts to understand the difference between boys and girls, and can identify himself or herself as one or the other. Gender identity is biologically determined by the presence or absence of the Y chromosome but to a certain extent, it may also be the product of a child?s environment.

Kids at this age also begin to associate certain behaviors related to being male or female, called gender roles. We teach them that girls play with dolls and boys play with trucks, planes, cars and guns. Our culture dictates what is masculine or what is feminine, how boys behave versus girls. However, much has changed in society about gender roles because women are becoming pilots, car racers and truck drivers.

More and more men are participating in child rearing which was once a mother?s turf, and some are role reversing with the fathers as ?housebands? and wives going out to work. Therefore, it?s ok for boys to play with dolls and for girls to play with the boy?s toys so you don?t stereotype sexes into limited roles.

Be sensitive as well to use the word ?firefighter? instead of ?fireman? and ?chairperson? instead of ?chairman? to convey the message that these roles are not only relegated to men. As you decide what you want to teach your kids about gender roles, be aware of the messages they get both in and out of the home.

Another important message to teach them as they grow up is that most men and women did not choose to be men or women. They grew into the role. Some boys end up with hormonal or genetic problems and end up in between?homosexuals. Some girls become lesbians. In either case, we should teach them not to discriminate or ridicule people like that. We teach them that with our comments and attitudes when we encounter them.

Answering questions

A child may ask, ?Where did I come from?? Don?t give them an answer like ?a stork brought you.? You can be simple and honest in saying that ?you started as a tiny egg inside Mom?s body, with Dad?s sperm, you became a baby that grew inside my uterus.? Don?t say you grew in my stomach since the proper organ is the uterus.

?How come my sister needs to sit to pee and I need to stand up?? That?s because girls don?t have a penis from which urine comes out. Girls only have a small opening near the vagina called the urethra from which the urine comes out. So, it?s easier for them to urinate sitting down.

From the time they begin to talk, children are curious to know more about parts of their bodies and their functions. As parents, it is important to respond to their curiosity in a positive, open and supportive manner. Give simple and honest answers. Sex education begins at home, and as parents, you are their first teachers.