MANILA, Philippines—Eve Ensler, who wrote “The Vagina Monologues,” said: “Women secretly love to talk about their vaginas. They get very excited; no one’s ever asked them before.”

I don’t know about you, but I get jolly excited by shoes and the Dow Jones index, and my friends and I don’t talk—secretly or otherwise—about our vaginas much. But if this were a vagina monologue, it would be called: G spot—true or false.

You’d have to have the IQ of an okra if you haven’t heard of the G spot, around which an entire industry has burgeoned.

Named for the German gynecologist Dr. Ernest Grafenberg, it first came to light in 1950, in an article he wrote in The International Journal of Sexology. He described it as a highly erogenous zone inside the vagina that swells when stimulated, leading to powerful vaginal orgasms. Tantric sex refers to it as the sacred spot.

Medical circles have been divided ever since over its existence and precise location, but the latest research on it was done early this year by Dr. Emmanuele Jannini of the University of L’Aquila in Italy, using an ultrasound to measure the shape and size of the tissue beyond the vagina’s front wall.

Those who achieved vaginal climax had thicker tissues between the vagina and urethra than those who didn’t reach orgasm.

“For the first time, it’s possible to determine by a simple, rapid and inexpensive method if a woman has got a G spot or not,” said Dr. Jannini.

If you’re one of nature’s bonny and buxom belles, and with a G spot yet, why, congratulations! Some are just not well built for amorous stupefaction. As the writer Sebastian Horsley said: “The fault lies with the manufacturer. God put the waterworks too close to the playground.”

Why should men have all the fun, anyway? In a post-Viagra world, with men and women sharing the burden of pleasure, expectations for blazingly dynamic sexual congress have risen, in some cases creating massive insecurities surrounding sex.

Could we do better? Should we try the entire Kama Sutra? Are there pills we can pop? Should our orgasms transport us to mind-erasing paradise, all the time? What next?

Rejuvenation

What’s next is Dr. David Matlock, aka Dr. Sex, who runs the Laser Rejuvenation Institute of Los Angeles. He has been in lucrative plastic surgery for 21 years, and in license-to-print money vaginal rejuvenation for 16.

“My customers say ‘I don’t like the length of my labia minora.’ We can take the excess skin away. They say ’I don’t want my labia majora; I want them full.’ We can inject fat there. Or ‘I’ve had children, I want intense sexual gratification.’ So we tighten the muscle. How tight? ’We want to be as tight as when we were 18, before we had children.’ That’s what they want; that’s what they get,” Dr Matlock said. In 2005, he invented G spot amplification, aka G Shot.

Sexuality is complicated and mysterious, or it would be if we just left it alone. Matlock’s job tinkers with what nature has provided—everything from vaginal alterations and enhancements to “liberating women from the tyranny of sexual disappointment and inadequacies.” No one ever went broke underestimating the dark continent of a woman’s mind, its fears and insecurities.

According to his blurb, the G shot is for sexually active women with normal sexual function, and it increases their ability to be stimulated. It’s a non-surgical, physician-administered, 30-minute procedure, conducted in a doctor’s office under local anesthesia.

Using a 3.5-inch needle, collagen is injected into the anterior wall of the vagina. The shot augments the G spot so that it swells to an inch wide in diameter and a quarter of an inch in height, making it impossible to miss during sex. A valentine for the vagina, then.

Rapture

“Doctor, all I’m asking you is to find something to break my eggs. I’ll see the Shah goes on making omelettes,” said Empress Soraya, when trying—and failing—to conceive. While some things don’t bear discovery and scrutiny, science and medicine have given us a gallimaufry of ways to entertain and amuse ourselves. Doctors have become purveyors of magic, merchants of happiness.

The G shot, claims those who have had it done, is glorious rapture, giving intense sexual arousal, sometimes resulting in multiple orgasms. With increased libido, it has made them friskier, like walking around with a permanent hard-on.

Women are said to reach climax within a few minutes and with little effort. Just like a man, one of them said.

“It’s not for women who don’t have orgasms; it’s for women who want bigger and better orgasms,” said Dr. Kevin Jovanovich.

The consent form lists 68 risks, from “no effect at all, scar formation, to sexual dysfunction.” Side effects can include blood in urine, bleeding and bladder pains. The effect of the $1,850 shot lasts for 4 months, after which the collagen dissolves and is absorbed into the body. If you want to be in a permanent heat-hazed state of sexual readiness, you need to have it done again.

Health risk

While G shot parties are proliferating in doctors’ offices with groups of women being told about the procedure over coffee, it has yet to be peer-reviewed in a medical journal. Detractors say it’s a fad and women are putting their health at risk.

“This is a medical procedure; it’s invasive; it involves inserting something into the vagina. It has never been approved by the FDA,” said Jennifer Bass of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex and Reproduction.

Female sexual satisfaction is based more on what’s going on in a relationship than what’s going on around the G spot, said gynecologist Donnica Moore.

“How about a party for male partners to be instructed on where the G spot is? While we’re at it, we can also show them how to locate the clitoris.”

The clitoris, for the sexually literate, has twice as many nerves as the penis and is said to be the only part of the body designed purely for pleasure.

God, the acts we put on for each other! It’s like a Feydeau farce that you have to suppress a chuckle. Once upon a time, orgasms were like lottery; you won some, you lost some. Sensation was every quiver of the id—instinctual, playful, desiring the one we love, unfurling the long veil of eroticism, with touch, talk, a kiss.

Matlock is probably going to win this one. “I listen to women. They say ‘I just look too old.’ It’s all about youth, a perfect life—the guys, the girls, health and well-being. Sexually. Emotionally. Absolutely.”

Whatever gets you through the night, or day, I guess.

Either because of its novelty or the expense, only 40 G shots a month on average are done in LA, five in Britain.

Dr. Matlock teaches the technique to trained gynecologists, plastic surgeons and urologists.

Dr. Petra Boynton, sexual psychologist at University College London, remains skeptical: “We’re all different. Some women will have a certain area within the vagina which will be very sensitive and some won’t. But they won’t necessarily be in the area called the G spot. If a woman spends all her time worrying about whether she is normal or has a G spot or not, she will focus on just one area and ignore everything else. It’s telling people that there is a single way to have sex, which isn’t the right thing to do.”