MANILA, Philippines- My newest grandchild arrive by e-mail, with vague and scarce notice, and from the most unlikely candidate for parenthood among my four children?my youngest and unmarried son, a lieutenant in the US Army, stationed in Hawaii.

?Madre,? he began his overseas call, using his stock term of endearment for me, a contraction from madre de cacao, a favorite expression of mine. ?Open your e-mail,? he continued, mysteriously.

Dreading surprises from him, knowing that deployment to Iraq was always a possibility, I turned into a bundle of nerves and asked my husband, at the moment occupied with editing on his computer, to quit and switch to e-mail. My nervous state must have been written all over my face, for one look at me inspired him to oblige promptly.

The computer screen unrolled a picture with suspense, a peek at a time, from the top down. Finally, a baby was revealed, as pink as her blanket, here and there resembling?though mercifully, not the nose?the children I have myself brought into this world.

The next picture showed a complete family, but the only new face was days? old Ramona Louise?s?I have known her mom and her mom?s family rather closely.

It felt like being a grandmother for the first time?the exact same feeling I had felt upon the arrival of each previous grandchild. As corny as it sounds, it was almost like being in love.

It had been nearly 10 years. With two sons remaining unmarried going into midlife, I thought four grandchildren were all I would ever have? until, suddenly, Mona!

When, how

With the wonder of the Internet, I could not only see her, but also hear her, cooing. It was the next best thing to touching her.

But, as my heart swelled with joy, my mind popped questions. I know who, but when, how?

My soldier was here in September, the month he turned 40, for a medical mission that coincided with his grandmother?s?my mother?s, sudden death. He flew back after the funeral, before the month was over, with nary a word about Ramona Louise, who would be born Oct. 30. Perhaps he felt there was too much grief in the air, for something of a complex surprise like Ramona to be proper tidings. In fact, an aunt also passed away just hours
after my mom.

From what I can piece together in my imagination, Ramona was born out of the passion of a rekindled old flame, with plenty of love, but without much of a plan. Alas, personal circumstances and other realities do not allow this would-be family to come together just yet.

In the meantime, Ramona stays with my daughter, the legal guardian assigned by my son, who himself has gained temporary custody of her. Things can?t wait for Mona, and Mona can?t herself wait until her father finds a safer and more regular life in the army and her mother settles her own affairs. They may yet live happily ever after, but for now the reality is that neither of the parents is in a position to give Mona proper care; they can only love her from a distance.

True, a child?s ideal place,
especially in tender years, is with her parents. But I?m sure God has a plan, and His plan is for Mona to be happy, for how can it be otherwise? Anyway, whatever odds may be stacked against her shall be overcome by the miraculous power of love, which she shall have plenty of from near and far.

I am putting my money on Mona.

Surrogate mom

Already three times a mother, my daughter underwent a partial hysterectomy. As I kept her company at the hospital we got to talk about the surprises of motherhood, and I realized that she might have had fewer of them than most of us mothers. A teacher since before she became an actual mother, she definitely has had practice in surrogate guardianship. Come to think of it, even before she came of motherly age, I had had the habit of referring to her three younger brothers in our conversations as ?the children?.

If legal, actual, full time surrogate motherhood has been the great surprise of her life, she is embracing the role fully, graciously and unconditionally, committing to take it on for life if necessary. That should elevate her to the rank of angel.

Bouquets arrived, and soon her room looked like one for a new mother. ?It does feel that way, except this time I?m going home without a baby, Ma,? she said, pouting playfully.

Almost as soon as she said it, we both laughed, realizing that waiting for her at home was Mona.