MANILA, Philippines- Boy Abunda walked into the room in an oatmeal blazer by Ivar Aseron. That was a very subdued color for one of the country’s most flamboyant personalities. So un-Boy Abunda.
But Abunda thrives on contradictions. His life— not yet that old—is full of them. He rose from the ranks—an all-around Boy Friday of one of the country’s most powerful women, Conching Sunico. She molded him. She was a Professor Higgins to Boy’s Eliza Doolittle. (Forgive us, Audrey Hepburn and Auggie Cordero.)
Today, however, he’s a household name with a reach that’s farther than any of high society’s women. His fame and fortune are the product of hard work, guts, talent and luck.
Reading on, you’ll note the guy/gay’s homespun wisdom and traditional values. His scent line he just launched is selling like hotcakes. For that and other bigger things in life, he is a grateful Boy. The guy knows how to look back.
What was your course in college before Tita Conching (Sunico, the society doyenne) discovered you?
Business Management. I’m back in school now with Tita Helen (Benitez), at Philippine Women’s Helena Benitez School of International Relations and Public Diplomacy. People think I do it online, but I really go to school.
It’s a special course leading to a two-year Masteral.
You’re going into diplomacy?
I need that for my interviews, especially the more serious ones. I’ve always been interested. What got me into it was the Madeleine Albright book “The Mighty and the All Mighty.” It’s beautiful. She did two books, the first was “Madame Secretary,” right after she became Clinton’s Secretary of State. I was reading it and happened to be talking to Suzie Benitez: “Suzie, gusto kong mag-aral.”
That was also the week I was interviewing Liling Briones, the former national treasurer—public administration at UP. Sabi ni Suzie, si Tita Helen magbubukas, sabi ko enroll n’yo naman ako.
You zeroed in on diplomacy.
It’s culture and public diplomacy, which is very interesting. Albright’s book basically says there is no way to separate religion from diplomacy.
I broaden my range because I do a lot of political interviews. Mas naiintindihan ko na ngayon kung bakit pinatay si Flor Contemplacion, for example. Naiintindihan ko na ngayon bakit si Angelo de la Cruz ay na-save.
Naku ito ang kwento tungkol kay Imelda in diplomatic circles. Fidel Castro at his strongest. Fidel Castro is Fidel Castro. It was announced that the Philippine delegation would do a state visit in Cuba. Castro never met anyone in the airport, but to this day, they love Imelda Marcos in Cuba. She was the only one na inilibot at inikot ni Castro sa sugar plantations, with Castro himself driving, so that years later when you say you’re from the Philippines, people would say Ms Marcos is most beautiful. Imagine he was driving an open jeep and showing Ms Marcos the whole place!
Ms Marcos and I, to this day—she had a dinner here in this room a few months ago—we have a certain connection. Aside from being waray—we speak in Waray—there’s the Tita Conching connection.
Siguro iniisip nila kung sino si Tita Conching! (laughs)
Tita Conching (Sunico, the late administrator of Metropolitan Theater) is the aunt of Marixi (Prieto), the grandaunt of Tessa (Valdes). Ang reading namin diyan nagmana si Tessa.
She was the first to give Pitoy (Moreno) his big break. Ka-batch niya si Doña Chito Madrigal. I used to carry her bag when we used to travel.
I was brought to the Hilton because we used to do the lunchtime shows at the Hilton in Frankfurt. Ang baon ko yata noon was $50, pero siyempre nakadikit ako kay Tita Conching.
Tagadala ako ng bag. Pagdating namin sa Hilton, may red carpet. Nagtataka talaga ako kapag pinagkakaguluhan si Tita Conching. On the red carpet, she was being welcomed by the general manager. Sabi ko, “Tita, just who are you?” ’Di ko talaga maintindihan.
That was the time the Philippines was ranked higher in the world.
She was the best friend of Doña Eva Macapagal, the mother of our President. She was the only ninang of the president at her wedding.
Molded talaga ako ni Tita Conching, pero I never learned manners. (Laughter) Alam mo tinuruan niya ko, “ito yung kutsara, tinidor, papasok ganyan.” I never learned, really. Eight-course dinner—matiyaga iyon, iba iyon.
Noon, kapag inimbita ka sa party ni Tita Conching, made ka, you have arrived.
What were the parties like?
She would get the Rizal Memorial Stadium and build tents for an Arabian-inspired party and invite real Arabian princes and princesses. She was very close to Mrs. MacArthur, the wife of the general (Douglas MacArthur). There were times she’d tell me, “Sige, call Mrs. MacArthur.” Akala ko McArthur Bridge. (Laughter)
My god, this is the Mrs. MacArthur. I used to make pakialam the clippings of Tita—meron siyang pictures in Argentina or Spain, parang the queen without a crown. She used to wear a real tiara. She was the Carnival Queen of 1935.
In that party, Tita told me Evita Peron was in the same room. Lukaluka, Tita Conching was much ahead of her time. She would wear a tiara in European parties. And someone said Evita took interest in the tiara, but, of course, we never knew.
Tita, whether you are proud of me or not, this is the package. (Laughter)
The lakas ng loob, the tawa sa lahat, the people skills, the courage to go through everything and anything that’s uncertain and dark. And most important, to laugh at everything and nothing. She laughs at herself.
That’s the trait of that generation, they can laugh at themselves.
They were not full of themselves. And it was a generation that didn’t define style and class. They lived it, and it was so fascinating to watch them.
Where did you get your fondness for clothes?
From Tita. When I was with Tita Conching, hindi naman ako qualified but she put me on the board of Metropolitan Theater. Hindi pa uso ang torn jeans, punit na ang maong ko. Kasi yun lang naman talaga ang maong ko.
Si Tita Conching mahilig sa maganda, e alam kong hindi ako maganda. She was very honest and frank, she was formidable, she spoke her mind out.
She’d always laugh at herself. In a huge party at the Met lobby once, for instance, mahilig si Tita Conching sa baklang one-liners: “When I die, I want you to tell people that your Tita was born a snob and would die a snob,” and then tatawa kaagad iyan, ahahahahaha. (Laughter)
But she loved her househelp. Manang Sion would travel around the world with her. Kung business class, business class, or first class. She was loved. At saka yung mga gatekeepers nila noon, yung anak ng anak ng anak ng tatay yung tagabukas ng gate.
It was rumored that Tita Conching’s father was the basis of Rizal’s Kapitan Tiago character. Tita Conching’s family was in the manufacturing of bells. Trader talaga, Chinese-Spanish.
When she died, how were you?
I was inconsolable. She didn’t speak to me for two years when I left the Met, ’di ba? She really felt so bad. You didn’t leave Tita Conching. Nobody did that.
But I know she was happy deep in her heart. She was proud of me. And then she started to talk again.
My biggest frustration was, I wasn’t able to thank her enough.
She was like 17 to 18 years old when she was Carnival Queen in 1935. And she was the naiiba—kapag bawal ang ganito ginagawa niya. Rebelde! She was the original Gossip Girl. (Laughter)
You are the same.
I’m so funny, wild. Anything that’s bawal I also wear. At the height of summer I’d do trench coats.
Why?
I do it for show. I’m very conscious about the brands. For “Private Conversations” I wear suits from Rajo [Laurel] and Ivar [Aseron]. On “The Buzz” I wear skirts if I have to. I have all sorts. I have [Vivienne] Westwood. (Laughter)
Alam ba ninyo na minura ako minsan? There was a guy who phoned Channel 2, I was wearing Rajo or Puey [Quiñones].
(Demos) “Sabihin ninyo kay Boy Abunda ang lalaki hindi nagpapalda, nagpapantalon!” Sa telepono yan ha. “P******** niya!” (Laughter)
Sabi sa akin ng nakasagot, “Sir, minumura kayo.” Sabi ko “Hayaan mo lang, naiinggit lang yan.”
On “Homeboy” and “Boy and Kris,” I’m naka-tsinelas.
Pero Prada. Who are you really?
I’m all of them. I’ll always be the poor boy from Borongan who social-climbs, who can now afford a Vivienne Westwood. So my fashion sense is really confused. I’m a victim of my own taste. I am so fun, I am despicable. I don’t know. I have no style at all.
I wear what I want. Halimbawa, kapag feeling ko ang ganda-ganda ko, isinusuot ko kahit sabihin nila hindi ako maganda. (Laughter)
I’d get comments from people who don’t know that I’m such a fashion victim.
How do you react?
For example, friends of Bong (his longtime boyfriend): “Alam mo parang hindi ko maintindihan, parang “Would I be caught wearing Boy Abunda’s clothes?” To me, that’s the biggest flattery.
Clothes are my biggest indulgence, my biggest toys.
What’s with the scapular?
This is my protection against people who don’t understand my fashion sense. (Laughter)
Do you ever take it off?
No I don’t, even when I swim. Sa “Private Conversations,” I got a call from someone—“Hijo, I’m giving you a golden scapular, mas bagay sa ’yo.” Siyempre, tinanggap ko. (Laughter)
Someone said I shouldn’t be wearing a scapular because I’m gay. That was very sexist.
One time I opened “Private Conversations” by saying that my scapular has nothing to do with my being gay. I am a Marian devotee, I love Mama Mary. I am proudly gay.
Every week I’m in Baclaran. I’ve been going to Baclaran for over 15 years.
Have you ever regretted wearing something?
Never. My clothes never define who I am. It’s part of my play, part of my game. It gives me a lot of freedom to be who I am and to be who I am not, ’di ba? Bakit ba? Life is so short.
I think what is formal in show business is not what is necessarily formal to businessmen. There is this whole misconception that Piolo Pascual et. al have to look like the Zobel brothers. Para sa akin, hindi dapat. Play with colors, you’re in show business.
Why limit yourself to being who you shouldn’t be? Naku, kung ako naging babae, Panginoon! (Laughter)
Kung ikaw girl, sino ka?
Si Tessa, but I’ll be a bit wilder. I would show more boobs, more legs. But with the same wings and feathers and whatever. And maybe I’d be a little more native kasi native ako e (Iaughter), Magti-T’boli ako.
How’s nanay?
Nanay’s fine. We’re building a new house in place of our ancestral home, mahina na.
Are you the youngest?
I’m the youngest, both of us are girls. (Laughter) My sister is now vice mayor of our city. My Nanay was a public-school teacher. She retired as vice mayor and, when she retired in politics, my sister ran.
Are you going into politics?
No, I’ve been in show business too long. And I don’t want to go into politics because I want to do a lot of other things, like producing talk shows. Producing, not necessarily spending money. I hope to do that well.
The Oprah [Winfrey] approach.
Correct. Peter Jennings has a term for that—“Delicious to judicious interruptions.” You have to do that kasi if you’re on TV and you have three minutes to wrap up tapos ayaw tumigil, may technique dun sa hinga. Kasi when you talk, blah blah blah blah... putol.
Ako, I watch very intently kase yung phrasing ng tao mano-notice mo, may kapaguran yan e. You have to be very, very sensitive. Huhulihin mo: “I understand.”
Especially if you do politicians, kasi even before you ask a question, meron na silang programa: “Hello, good evening ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show...” “Alam mo yung mga kalyeng naipagawa ko...” (Laughter)
Who do you like the most?
I will always say the most honest. Ang talagang all-time favorite interview ko was with the late Sr. Christine Tan. Pag-upo niya talaga sa akin, ganito: “Sino ka ba?” (Laughter)
Sabi ko, “Ang pangalan ko po, sister, ay Boy Abunda.” (Laughter)
Hindi niya talaga ako kilala!
Sabi nya, “E ano naman ang kakausapin mo sa akin, madre lang ako, sa Leveriza lang ako.”
Ang tawag diyan ay first gap, ang first part ng interview was a struggle.
Sa research, ang ganda ng research ko.
“Sister, mayaman po ang inyong pamilya sa Malate, sa Ermita, bakit po kayo nagmadre?”
“Gusto ko.”
Ganon?! Whole gap of 15 minutes, “Diyos ko,” sabi ko.
Sometimes in the middle of interview, you find out, you don’t know what would happen.
Sabi ko, “Sister, what do you know about love?”
“Oh, a lot.” (Laughter)
“Sister, tell me what you know about love.”
Akala ko maglo-love siya ng Diyos! “Akala mo hindi ko naranasan yan. I also fell in love at one point of my life.”
Ay, sabi ko ito na. And that started it.
Ever been intimidated by a subject?
Wala, naubos ang nerbiyos ko nung ako’y bata pa. (Laughter) Naubos talaga. I pray for jitters sometimes because when I am jittery I am a little cautious; when I’m relaxed, I’m wild.
Lakas ng loob lang talaga ang puhunan ko—I had no body, I had no face, I used to convince myself I was so beautiful. Iba ’yung kapag ang pinanggalingan mo sinampal-sampal ka ng buhay, ano pang mawawala sa ’yo?
Naalala ko noon [at the Met] feel na feel ko noon ’pag curtain call, I’d declaim: “Ladies and gentlemen, the Philippine National Anthem.” Feel na feel ko talaga maski lima lang ang audience, ganyan (Laughter), lalabas pa talaga ako sa ilaw.
I did an interview with Floy (Quintos), my dear close friend. We grew up together at Metropolitan Theater with Tita Conching. Sabi niya, “Alam mo, Boy, if you saw yourself when we were young and you were struggling, you’d have hated yourself because you’d have killed anyone who came in your way”—just to describe how much energy I had.
Pero you haven’t had a great tragedy naman?
Generally, people have been really kind and generous. Because along the way I also never hurt anyone. I just did it my way talaga.
Even past lovers? (Laughter)
They’re all my friends. (Laughter)
What do you feel about high society?
I feel so at ease with them. (Laughs) Because I forever had to climb the ladder to get to where I am. (Laughter)
But you’re so masa!
And I never tried to be one of them [high society]. I don’t want to blend with them, to this very moment I don’t want to be them. I am what I am, and I will always be jologs. I’ll always wear my trench coat whenever I want.
What books are you reading? It’s called “Audition”—it’s lovely. Barbara Walters finally wrote her book.
When do you find the time to read?
Ay, everyday. No matter how tired my day is, I end it with my reading, and I’m wild in my reading.
Fiction?
Gabriel Garcia Marquez. [Paolo] Coelho you can read naman in two minutes. I’m a Clinton buff, I read his book including “Giving.” I do seven books at the same time, depending on my mood. “True Measure of a Man” is a lovely book.
I have this fascination with Bette Davis, ang galing-galing nya. That famous line, “I would have wanted to kiss you but I just washed my hair”—galing niya! “Mother Goddamn,” that was her book.
Who are you close to in show biz?
Of course, Kris. She’s the one who understands who I am and what I want. She gives me space. I’m close to Gretchen Barretto, Dawn Zulueta.
I have Nini Santos... Ai-Ai [de las Alas], Juday I love, Martin Nievera.
With high society, I also do dinner with them. (Laughter) I’m very comfortable with Lizzie (Zobel), Margarita (Fores). I like them, I like the Zobel brothers and I hope they like me, too. (Laughter) The few dinners I’ve had with them I truly enjoyed. I love Fely Atienza. I love that group nila Maricris Zobel.
Wala na yung Manila’s 400, the lines have been blurred by celebrityhood, which is now show biz and politics. Nawala na yung exclusivity noon. Noon 400 lang talaga, now it’s 4 million. (Laughter)
Pero I’m fascinated with the wealthy, the high society.
What fascinates you about them?
The skin. Most of them have nice skin, it’s not their wealth. And most of them today are not OA, they are subdued and quietly elegant. A lot of them are in school, and very smart.
What made you do that perfume by Joel Cruz?
Because I thought nobody would buy it.
What’s it ba?
It’s eau de toilette. I underestimated it myself. It’s selling like hotcakes and I am surprised.
It’s mabango. I never dreamed in my life that I’d have a perfume! Diyos ko, Panginoon! (Laughter)
Gusto ko yung babagay at gusto ko yung kaya ko. Kung ang presyo ng pabango ay P199, baka parang pomada ng tatay ko yan noon kapanahunan niya. I wanted to make sure it was usable. Hindi ako perfume expert, pero months and months and months... I brought the toilette to all my friends: “Amuyin mo nga ’to.” (Laughs)
At what point are you in your life now?
At my most orgasmic. (Laughs) I am always a work in progress—though that’s a boring line. But at this point I can afford to joke. I am secure in my laughter. That laughter is coming from the guy in me who’s not nervous anymore.
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