CHRISTMAS is the perfect time for building and development. It is a season rich with opportunities to launch new associations or reinforce existing ones. But here I speak not of high-rise projects, commercial spaces or residential villages. Christmas is the season for family so this time let us shift our focus to the family and what it takes to build and fortify one.

In an elevator once, I saw what was supposed to be an inspirational poster, ?Success is measured by what you are willing to give up.? It could speak to a lot of people in different ways. But when seen in reference to the conflict between career and family, I cannot find it in my heart to agree.

Real success

Louis Sullivan, the so-called Father of American Architecture, and Frank Lloyd Wright, the so-called Ion of Modern Architecture, died lonely men. Though they were both wealthy and popular, their success was achieved at the expense of their families. That makes it a bittersweet success, an iniquitous tradeoff. Real success lies in the attainment of an integrated life, one with no compartments, a healthy balance between a satisfying career and a loving family.

As a testament to this, I would like to cite the family of Victor Cham Jr. and Catherine Candelaria-Cham, both architects, and their two sons, Carlos, 18, and Vico, 17. Carlos is quickly following in the footsteps of his parents, currently taking up BS Architecture at the University of Sto. Tomas while Vico is currently enrolled in SHINE Special Intervention Center, a school for special children.

Several years ago, Jun began a very promising career in Hong Kong, working with John Tang and Associates, a prestigious HK-based architectural design firm. Due to his fine abilities, he was being groomed for a top position.

Giving up one dream

Then the couple found out that Vico, then 2 years old, needed special care. They were advised that it was important at that stage for Vico to understand the concept of family. After a while, they decided that their family had to come first and Jun chose to sacrifice his career for his son. However, the couple claims that they have no regrets giving up one dream in exchange for the reality of family. It has all been worth it.

For a time, Cathy was head of the design department of a leading fast-food chain. Currently, she is helping Jun in their architectural design and management firm, the Cham-Candelaria Inc. They do a lot of restaurant design and tenant fit-outs. Their clients include known establishments such as Mocha Blends, Flap Jacks, McDonalds, Café de Lipa, World Chicken, Tropezz, Uncle John, Dencio?s, Don Luis and Gonuts Donuts.

Despite the balancing act of family life and career, they manage beautifully to organize children?s formation activities. Jun and Cathy are head coordinators of the CFC Kids for Christ.

As to their older son, Carlos, his role as sibling was not easy at first. He could not understand why Vico could not respond or play with him like his other friends. At first, he did not see why Vico always got more attention and why he had to attend workshops in SHINE as well. With loving patience, the couple waited for Carlos to mature and understand his brother. After a few years of prayer and support, Carlos is now a perfect brother to Vico.

Vico, on the other hand, has shown a great aptitude for art. He has held his own exhibits, along with artworks of other special children. In fact, some of his works have been used to adorn the walls of the Tropezz Restaurant and Bar in Greenbelt 3. In addition, Vico participates in on-the-spot painting contests and usually lands among the top finalists. His medium includes computer painting and colored pencils, and recently he has ventured into metal ink gel sketching. Amazing!

What is most noticeable whenever I meet this family is the genuine smile on Cathy?s face and the apparent breadth of Jun?s patience. The couple avers, ?We are proud to be a special family to Vico. Through him we acquired a true sense of love, answering the call to patience and sacrifice. For all of these blessings we are truly thankful to God!?

For your comments and suggestions, please send e-mail to marcosdeguzman@yahoo.com.