MANILA, Philippines?The past week has been a time of re-connecting, of spending time with friends tried and tested by time. To be honest, over the last few weeks, I had not really been feeling the Christmas spirit.

So I stopped to think about what was running me down. Then I remembered the events our family had been through this year, having to relocate and then return home after six months, a couple of hospitalizations, college entrance exams to fret and be anxious about. I could have gone on and on, then I remembered the story about the three kids from Cebu I had written about a few weeks ago, how they had to take turns taking their meals to save enough to buy their father medicines. That was enough to put a stop to my self-pity.

Advent being a time of waiting, it was serendipitous to have stumbled upon a beautiful online retreat put together by Xavier School director Fr. Johnny Go, SJ. ?Advent on the Brink: Waiting with Joseph? at http://www.jesuits.ph/articles/adventreco is a perfect example of that.

Beautifully set to music and film clips, the reader is invited to join this online recollection which has been conveniently broken down into three parts.

In his introduction, Go writes ??We never say that we go to Christmas. We always say that Christmas comes. And so we wait for Christmas to touch our lives again. We wait in patient expectation. But we don?t just sit idly and twiddle our thumbs. We actively prepare ourselves for the Lord?s birth. We wait and at the same time work to hasten the coming of that which we wait for.?

Three dreams

The recollection centers around the life of Joseph and his three dreams. Go weaves the three dreams into an explanation of the seasons of our lives. One of the seasons, he describes as the season when our life is ?on the verge of something wonderful.? When things are going well in our lives, we are subjected to a special kind of temptation: the temptation of entitlement.

In the first part of the recollection, where Joseph?s first dream is tackled, Go explains that gratitude is the grace being offered to us when life is on the verge of something wonderful and for us to recognize that everything we are given is a gift. ?Everything we have has been freely given by God and we don?t deserve any of it.? He ends the first part of the recollection by quoting from the Indian Jesuit mystic Anthony de Mello, ?The secret to happiness is a grateful heart.?

I was very much moved by Go?s online recollection and was encouraged by God?s word and of how Go explained the various seasons we go through.

In the second part he talks about the season when life is on the verge of something tragic and how in that season, we are given the grace of generosity as illustrated by Joseph?s life?a father fleeing with his young family to Egypt.

Lastly, he talks about life on the verge of something ordinary and the grace of awe that comes with it.

You need to do the online recollection to fully appreciate the message that has been so beautifully and painstakingly put together.

In closing, Fr. Go writes??Advent is not about one season, but about every season in our lives. Advent is not so much about us waiting for something. Advent is about us recognizing that something is always waiting to happen. A gift waiting to be unwrapped. There will always be seasons in our life when our dreams collide with God, but these collisions of dreams are ultimately but an invitation to grace.?

This year, the lights on my tree may be dimmer, but this year, Jesus? birth takes on a deeper meaning and his love for us has burned like it never has before. I pray that your homes be filled with His love and with the blessings of peace, love and joy this Christmas season. Happy holidays!

E-mail the author at cathybabao@gmail.com