MY students think I?m a pretty hip mom. Why? Because I have Facebook and Multiply. I touch base with students long after they have left school through these social networking sites. I also blog. Midlife Mysteries?www.nancydrewand-me.blogspot.com chronicles my journey as a 40something woman and parent.

Technology is a powerful tool with pluses and minuses.

There?s a recent US survey of 1,280 teens and young adults on the intersection of sex and cyberspace with respect to attitudes and behavior. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and CosmoGirl.com commissioned this survey to explore their electronic activity?the first public study to quantify the proportion of teens and young adults who are sending or posting sexually suggestive text and images.

The survey found that nearly half of teens have received a sexually suggestive message via e-mail, text or IM, and nearly 40 percent of teens have sent such a message. Most young adults have sent one (59 percent) or received one (64 percent). And get this?one in five teens and one-third of young adults said they had sent a nude or semi-nude image of themselves to others!

You might say: ?But that is in the US!? Not exactly. If you stopped and paid attention to your teeners? stories about the exploits some of these teeners and young adults engage in nowadays, you would surely blush.

I?m not being a prude or a priss as my daughter likes to say. There are benefits to being careful about what you post online because they have lasting consequences, particularly when one applies for college or a job. The survey says that most respondents agreed that engaging in this sort of behavior ?can have serious negative consequences,? but do it anyway.

What is referred to as the ?Online Disinhibition Effect? is often what propels these teeners and young adults to do it. John Suler writes on the psychology of cyberspace: ?The physical body and its five senses no longer play as crucial a role as in face-to-face relationships. What others know or don?t know about me is not always clear. The feeling of a linear past, present and future becomes more obscure as we move back and forth through synchronous and asynchronous communication. As a result, this altered state of consciousness in cyberspace tends to shift or destabilize self-boundary. The distinction between inner-me and outer-other is not as clear.?

Add to that a teenager?s raging hormones and the desire to express oneself, and you have quite a potent combination for disaster.

I encourage self-expression but it must be guided by the rules of sensibility. The survey findings provide tips for parents on how to talk to kids about sex and technology:

Talk to your kids about what they are doing in cyberspace.

Just as you need to talk openly and honestly to your kids about real life sex and relationships, you must discuss online and cell phone activity. Kids must fully understand that messages they send on the Internet are not truly private or anonymous. Others could forward their pictures or messages to strangers. School authorities and employers look at online profiles to size up potential students/employees. Your kids must grasp the short-term and long-term consequences of their actions. Would they want a future employer viewing their half-naked 17-year-old body a decade from now, or seeing images of them totally wasted in some hotel room or beach?

Know who your kids are communicating with.

Learn who your kids spend time with online and on the phone. Supervising and monitoring your child?s whereabouts in real life and in cyberspace doesn?t make you makulit; it?s parenting. Teach them not to randomly ?add? or ?approve? people who want to be their friends. The dangers of hacking and identity theft are very real.

Be aware of what your teens are posting.

Check out your teen?s Multiply, Friendster or Facebook and other public online profiles from time to time. This isn?t snooping; this is information your kids are making public. Talk with them about their own notion of what is public and what is private. Your views may differ; you won?t know until you ask, listen and discuss.

There is so much you can learn about what?s going on in your child?s mind by viewing his sites?from what he writes to the video clips he views. Sometimes these are indicators of depression or risky behavior that you would not otherwise notice.

For example, the survey says 66 percent of girls and 60 percent of boys said they send sexually suggestive content to be ?fun or flirtatious.? The percentages go higher as they reach young adulthood, but the reasons are the same.

If you find that your son or daughter is behaving improperly in cyberspace, you can tell him the dangers. If you are a cybermomma with your own webpages, check yourself as well. Do you post suggestive messages, comments or pictures? Or visit sites you ban your child from visiting? Guard your heart and your online time, or, it may be a case of the pot calling the kettle black.

E-mail the author at cathybabao@gmail.com.