DEAR EMILY,

I?m an expat in Southeast Asia, 46, and a widow for two years now. I have two teen daughters and consider myself highly conscientious. I am a devout Catholic and I live my faith. My problem is I am falling for my boss who is 10 years older and married.

My boss showed his concern for my family early on when my husband was still alive. He even helped a lot financially when my husband died. A year after my husband?s death, I began to seriously doubt if our relationship was strictly professional, when he told me he found me attractive. As I tried to keep my distance, he got mad and nitpicked on me.

However, the nitpicking was shortlived; he became nice, extra caring and overly concerned again, and flirtatious.

The problem is I am already falling for him though I know I should not have anything to do with a married man and cannot bear to hurt his wife.

I cannot leave my work as it pays well and provides for my family?s needs. I also believe it is God-given. What should I do?

?WIDOW IN DISTRESS

Being near every day to this man whom you have fallen in love with will not certainly solve your problem. You either move to another department or look for another job in a different company, if you honestly believe you?ll have difficulty dealing with him and your emotions.

You can talk to him squarely and tell him to leave you alone, but this heart-to-heart talk might open more doors and lead to more intimacies. Or it might lead to confrontation?and you already have a history of nitpicking by him. Don?t let him equate widowhood with weakness. It?s all up to you. Scream to God for guidance, but help yourself to look for another job?just to get away from that clear and present danger.

If there?s a will, there?s a way. If you?re the person of strong faith you say you are, why doubt the power of God who will be there every inch of the way to guide you in darkness? Make that leap of faith and believe that something better awaits you? somewhere.

(E-mail the author at emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph, Subject: Lifestyle, or send your letters to Inquirer. Log on to www.pbs.gov.ph and listen to Ms Marcelo co-host the program ?Kalikasan Vigilante,? 7:15-8:30 p.m., Monday-Friday, on dwBR 104.3 FM.)