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Emilys Post
Woman worries about staying single at 34

By Emily A. Marcelo
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 04:11:00 02/01/2009

Filed Under: People, Lifestyle & Leisure

DEAR EMILY,

Staying single at 34 has made me examine myself. Bar-hopping, drinking and partying, etc. aren?t me. In my mid-20s, I let go of good men because I thought I wasn?t ready. They say opportunity seldom knocks more than once.

I had many suitors; I was attractive then. I ceased to be outgoing when friends got married one after another. I?ve fallen into the trap of getting more picky after years of waiting for the right man. I?ve adopted the wait-and-see attitude. I?d be happy if he comes; if not, fine.

Men are telling me they want women younger, prettier and with the best of character. What is your view about our society?s notion that being ?settled? has to happen in marriage?

Why do people look at singles, especially women, as incomplete? Some even push you to do things you don?t want to do because they want to ?help.? But is it right to just wait and rely on fate?

?30-SOMETHING

Times have changed. This is not your parents? or grandparents? generation anymore. The moon is a destination now, and single women can get pregnant just by making a withdrawal from the right bank.

You?re a professional whose mind is curious enough to question the world around you. But you?re right in not accepting the status quo. Don?t be disturbed by what others are saying about being single. And don?t sell yourself short?how ?physically unattractive? have you become?

Aren?t you being too engrossed with yourself with these lamentations? Get out of your box and be involved with pursuits bigger than yourself.

Devote time to the unfortunate in our midst, if you wish. Take up a hobby that will fill your mind. Learn a language. Cook with friends on weekends. Make yourself complete without waiting in desperation for Mister Right. See how secure and content you will become.

Enjoy your single blessedness because it truly is a protected state. With the right attitude, you will see how lucky you are to do as you please and be as free as you wish. No irritating inconveniences from another person to deal with. No one to wear you out.

You?re on the right track?minus those petty disturbances blowing in the wind.

Fate might hear your thoughts and voila! The stuff you?ve been praying for might just happen when you least expect it. Savor these moments while you can. Don?t you consider this no-hassle, no-frazzle existence?wonderful?

(E-mail the author at emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph, Subject: Lifestyle, or send your letters to Inquirer. Log on to www.pbs.gov.ph and listen to Ms Marcelo co-host the program ?Kalikasan Vigilante,? 7:15-8:30 p.m., Monday-Friday, on dwBR 104.3 FM.)



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