DEAR EMILY,

One day, a newspaper clipping about a successful executive dropped from my wife?s appointment book. When I asked her why she had that clipping, she said the man had proposed to be a supplier of materials for her handicraft business.

In a family gathering the next weekend, when I mentioned that my wife had found this supplier, my sister-in-law started talking about the guy?how he had come a long way from being an employee to president of his company. I was surprised at how well she knew this guy?he courted my wife before I met her. My wife?s face turned red at that moment. She was visibly unsettled the whole afternoon.

When someone asked who had seen ?Little Children? (where Kate Winslet was having a torrid affair), she stood up and walked away from the group. A topic she gets very animated about is movies. We had seen the movie together and I had expected her to talk about it. I was surprised she didn?t. What do you make of that?

I?ve started to wonder why she hid the guy?s identity from me. Was she feeling guilty? Have they started seeing each other and are their meetings not entirely business? Is an affair in the making?

E.D.

Blushing when old boyfriends are mentioned or getting up and going away from conversations is no reason enough to suspect her. Yet, what do you really make of that?

You be the judge. Has she begun to change much from the time the clipping fell off her book? Have you noticed her lying about little things recently, like being in meetings that never happen, or going out shopping or out of town with supposed girl friends, or hiding her cell phone?

She probably clipped the article to show off to friends how successful her former beau has become and bragging to them how she had busted him long ago. That could only be a thrill-trip for a middle-aged woman. If she had crossed the line and you are positive she is having an affair with him, what will you do about it? Stalk her? Eavesdrop? Check her mobile when she?s in the bathroom? Don?t! Confront her and be done with it.

There?s nothing as stressful as building a host of scenarios in your head, armed with just a clipping, blushing cheeks and a walk-away. A molehill turns into a mountain. Spare yourself the agony. Talk to her.

E-mail the author at emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph, Subject: Lifestyle, or send your letters to Inquirer. Log on to www.pbs.gov.ph and listen to Ms Marcelo co-host the program ?Kalikasan Vigilante,? 7:15-8:30 p.m., Monday-Friday, on dwBR 104.3 FM.