MY 10-YEAR-OLD son is the creative, quiet and brooding type. He likes to write and read science fiction. It was a pleasant surprise to watch his growing fascination with ?American Idol.?

My young man would sit on his dad?s Lazy-boy, concentrating on the contestants, alternately laughing and frowning at the judges? comments. He would eagerly tell us each evening the highlights of the day?s show. I thought this was a happy diversion from his usual, more quiet preoccupations.

Why are many people fascinated with the show? I sat through several episodes and admit that I, too, have been hooked. Why do we keep returning to it, year after year? Is it the secret desire of wanting to be discovered or the belief that dreams do come true?

An interesting article explains the fascination with this show. As a parent, I was comforted to know that despite the flack it gets, ?AI? is a show our kids can learn from. Massachusetts-based psychotherapist and educator Marie Hartwell Walker writes in Psychcentral.com, ?Year after year, ?AI? shows us that talent alone isn?t enough. It?s character that counts.?

Hartwell says that what ultimately separates the winners from losers isn?t talent. ?What the judges are looking for and what the viewers find riveting is the emergence of character.?

In ?Lessons From American Idol: It?s Character That Counts,? she cites important lessons about what it takes to be a winner in ?Idol? or in life:

1. Winners are able to hear criticism as critique, not as final judgment. They know there is always room for improvement and they stay open to learning.

2. Winners grant that someone with experience in the industry (whether it?s Simon or your own boss) has something useful to say. They don?t write senior people off because they are older, grumpy or unimpressed with young genius. They don?t just discard information they don?t agree with. They think about it.

3. Winners know that trying too hard turns others off. Instead, they find their connection to their music or vision, then invite others to share it. Showing off is, to use Simon?s word, self-indulgent. Finding meaning and sharing it is true artistry.

4. Winners are mindful of group process and take pleasure in group evolution. They know how to contribute ideas to the group without dominating it. They draw in the group?s quiet members. They let people know that their contributions are appreciated.

5. Winners accept losing graciously and learn from every loss.

It?s amazing how a seemingly simple talent show like ?AI? can provide learning moments. It?s comforting that subliminally (hopefully), our children also pick up these lessons and are not only entertained.

My son has always been an old soul. In our home, he is often the barometer of what is true and good. He?s my 10-year-old going on 21. Perhaps he sees the good in AI so he takes to it like candy.

Unfortunately, when we run a show similar to ?Idol,? locally, these tenets are hardly followed. It also remains to be seen if the voting in this country would shift from a popularity race to one based on integrity, character and yes, talent?and I don?t mean in singing or dancing. I wonder what would happen if our local officials were to join AI? What would Simon say? More importantly, who would make it to the finals, if at all?

E-mail the author at cathybabao@gmail.com