DEAR Emily,

I am 39 and single. It?s been six long years since I fell in love then decided that I?d never get involved again. But when I met this woman in September 2008, everything changed.

I thought she was the right girl for me. We talked on the phone for hours, and would always have lunch. We developed a good friendship.

As days went by, I realized I had fallen in love with her. I waited for the right time to tell her. Then last Valentine?s day, she confessed she was in love?but not with me.

She fell for a married man, a wrong person for her. I told her she?d never be happy with that guy. I then asked her if she likes me.

I was devastated when she said ?No.? I am really hurt. I cannot sleep.

I hate to be in love.

JOHN

Two rejections in six years is devastating, but not fatal. Don?t hate falling in love again. That?s too defeatist and nonsensical. This girl rejected you because she had fallen in love with another?no matter that he is the wrong one. Much as you were a friend to her, you were the wrong one?at that moment. If you love her, continue being a friend. Welcome the thought that she?ll be needing the support and comfort of a strong, warm shoulder.

Or she might wake up one day and realize how stupid she had been, not seeing the magnificence of this wonderful person beside her, meaning you.

Remember that love is like the never-ending flow and ebb of the ocean. It comes, it goes.

Just keep your heart open. You never know what gifts and surprises may come in.

(E-mail the author at emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph, Subject: Lifestyle, or send your letters to Inquirer. Log on to www.pbs.gov.ph and listen to Ms Marcelo co-host the program ?Kalikasan Vigilante,? 7:15-8:30 p.m., Monday-Friday, on dwBR 104.3 FM.)