DEAR EMILY,

I met an old beau when we both joined the program being planned for the 50th anniversary of the company we worked for 34 years ago.

He lost his wife two years ago. During rehearsal break, he whispered how he has been lonely and thinking a lot about me. He said if he had married me he would still have a wife and a companion.

We were engaged 30 years ago but we decided to get our Master?s degrees in universities in the US. The two-year separation opened our lives to new friends. When we came home, we were committed to others.

But this get-together rekindled my attraction to him?the physical, more than the emotional. He has remained attractive, very attentive, and gallant. When my husband makes love to me, I wonder what it would be like with him instead.

How do I avoid becoming an unfaithful wife? How do I stop my feelings from getting more intense? ?C.

First things first. Thirty years ago, you two were engaged and your separation wasn?t exactly between faraway continents.

You were only a phone call and a train ride away from each other. So what happened? There must have been an awakening of sorts during this time for you to sever your ties. Could it be because you found better persons to spend the rest of your lives with?

You now seem so smitten with him that you?re even asking for safeguards from becoming an unfaithful wife. And what you?re feeling is more physical than emotional. Take a simple quiz then. How strong is your marriage to withstand this little flirtation? Good? So-so? A big yawn? Really bad? Are there vulnerable people who?ll be affected horribly? Will the devastation be worth it?for you, for him, for this lifetime?

Are you strong enough to handle this?that is, bring it to fruition, or wave this encounter away, as you would a pesky fly?

You?re the only one who can live with your actions. Remember, you are the captain of your fate. It?s your life. It?s your choice.

E-mail the author at emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph, Subject: Lifestyle, or send your letters to Inquirer. Log on to www.pbs.gov.ph and listen to Ms Marcelo co-host the program ?Kalikasan Vigilante,? 7:15-8:30 p.m., Monday-Friday, on dwBR 104.3 FM.