I LOST my mother on Mother?s Day 2004. A year before that, I lost my daughter Trisha, who, for a year and 10 months, battled non-Hodgkin?s lymphoma.

In my younger years, not much attention was given to Mother?s Day celebrations. As my children were growing up, one of the activities in school was to draw pictures and make cards for Mommy on her special day.

This year, my family will celebrate Mother?s Day by going to Mass and having lunch with our children and grandchildren.

After Trisha (Patricia, a teacher and one of Manila?s top models) passed away, life lost its meaning for me. On her 40th day, I had Mass said for her and invited family and close friends for lunch. This was also the day we put her urn in the crypt.

Among my guests were mothers who had also lost a child. One was Lita Salinas, who suggested the idea of forming a support group for mothers like us. Coincidentally, there were five of us in the group who shared the same fate ? Lita, Lennie Hechanova, Norma Escaño and my sister Lu, who also lost a son years back.

Feb. 23, 2003 was the start of the journey of five grieving moms. We had a bond ? each one lost a child! Our loss inspired us to form a group that would meet regularly. We could cry on each other?s shoulders, articulate our pain and even get angry with God.

We call ourselves Moms, or ?Moving on Mothers.? Others have joined us ? Viola Cruz, Buda Samson, Karen Tuason, Baby Española, Ludy Roque, Sony Lopez Gonzales, and Marite Tanjangco.

Great comfort

We find great comfort talking about our grief and pain. We help each other cope with the loss. Each of us had to accept that our child is gone forever, to affirm that this is the start of a healing process. Our meetings have helped foster character formation, greater wisdom, friendship and compassion.

Support group for cancer survivors, alcoholics, drug addicts, and abused women exist in our country, but scarcely for bereaved mothers.

Moms members have expressed their thoughts. From my sister Lu: ?Being together sustained us. We formed a bond forged out of common pain. No one is stronger among us. We travel the same arduous path and understand each other. The pain of losing a child has carried a special place in our hearts. We are allowed entry into the pain, the loss, the heartbreak. Each of us built a rich reserve of courage, strength, hope, peace, faith and even sanity. We all draw strength from each other. We cannot erase memories, but instead preserve memories safe in our hearts. We have learned to open our hearts and ultimately, acceptance. Moms helped us heal our circumstance, encouraged us to grow into better persons, accept our situation, move on and not lose our faith in God.?

From Lennie: ?Moms has helped me verbalize my grief, enabling me to slowly move on in time. As Lita said, one must learn not only to accept, but also agree with God?s will regarding our child?s passing.

Monthly meeting

Quoting Norma: ?Years after the death of my son Daniel, I was a lost soul, grieving, and crying every time I see something that reminds me of Dan, or if I bump into his friends. Then Moms happened! I look forward to our monthly meetings where we can just be ourselves ? cry, blame myself or others, express anger at times ? just any kind of emotion I could not show or share with anyone who has not experienced the death of a child. I still miss Dan so much, but must accept that he is gone. I have to move on with my life.?

From Karen: ?It was wonderful to find a group of women who completely understood what I was going through. I was able to share all the pain and sorrow I felt. They were a fantastic help in getting where I am today.?

From Marite: ?Moms has helped me refocus from my own loss to the loss of other mothers. There is a special kinship and affinity when we are together. We?ve learned to appreciate each other, thus making it easier to cope with the loss. I realize God?s presence and His love for me despite the loss.?

After six years of Moms, there is still the tinge of pain, but life goes on. I still visit Trisha in the crypt. It is my daily ritual to just spend time there, talking and praying to her. I sometimes get a start when I hear her favorite song. My heart skips a beat when I see some of her former students, now in their teens.

The acceptance is there, but as people say, we are the ?walking wounded? who will always bear the scar of a fragment left by one lost child.

To all of us mothers ? this is our day! Let?s celebrate!