DEAR EMILY,

My wife is conservative, reserved and wholeheartedly nice. Shy at times but when she has a few drinks that shyness subsides though she is not a closet drinker.

There are times where we?d go to parties and she?d have a few drinks and really she starts becoming very social. She?d start dancing to a point where it hit a different chord in my body. I guess each of us has a different definition of being promiscuous. But to me that was it, which led to a big argument with her.

Some of her friends say she is fine but that is their opinion. What matters is mine as she is my wife. Her reputation is just as 100-percent hers as mine.

Sometimes I question myself if I am over-reacting or just downright overprotective. Am I wrong to be acting this way?

PETER

Are you sure you?re not the conservative one and not your wife? Why use a strong word like promiscuous in describing her inebriated state during parties? Does she make lewd passes at men? Dance on tables? Make fun of you in front of your friends? Hurl obscene language at you? Have you two ever discussed this ?behavior? of hers that throws you off-kilter?

How is your marriage? Do you have issues that she can only get off her system when she?s had a drink? Are you both honest about your relationship with each other? Does she manifest her inhibitions during your intimate moments?

Is she comfortable in letting her hair down and baring her soul to you? There might be issues she has kept from you all these years which you have to iron quietly, sensibly, in the full light of the day ? just so they won?t reveal themselves awkwardly in public, in the cover of night ? and make you feel like a fool.

Sometimes there is really nothing wrong with the relationship. It?s just that some people don?t know how to hold their liquor ? your wife included.

If you think that your marriage is intact and strong, that there are no issues lurking in the shadows, make sure before going to your next party, reiterate to her that alcohol should stay in the stomach ? and not go up to her head.

(E-mail emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph, Subject: Lifestyle)