EVEN in her most unguarded moment, Maria Luisa ?Mary? Prieto was the epitome of poise.

My first encounter with her was by accident. It was 1986;
Inquirer?s Lifestyle section was still in its infancy, and then editor Chit Lijauco assigned me to interview a certain Marylou Prieto on makeup and style.

She was a faculty member of John Robert Powers (JRP), a school for self-development. The interview was to be held at her place in a Makati condominium.

A maid had let me into the unit. As I waited, a woman entered and was appalled to see a stranger in the living room, as if I had broken in. Nobody had informed her that there was a visitor.

Her features were striking, but there were fine pieces of surgical tape around her eyes. She wore a navy shirt and abbreviated white shorts. I thought to myself that for a woman of a certain age, she pulled it off with flair. Even if she was initially infuriated, the lady did not raise her voice.

As I explained my mission, she softened. The lady pointed out that her daughter Marylou Prieto-Lovina lived in another unit and I had the wrong address. With great humility, she apologized profusely for her gaffe.

At the Lovina unit, Marylou?s daughter entertained me while the photographer and I waited for her mother to come out of her room. I learned that the lady in the other unit was Mary Prieto, who was not only a prominent personality in high society but also the country?s doyenne of etiquette and style.

Lovina was equally knowledgeable in social graces and image. Despite her crutches, Lovina emerged from her room looking stunning in a magenta jersey dress, accessorized by a chain necklace with pearls and lacy textured stockings. Her eyes were made up in the smoky ?80s style. Like a pro, she posed for the camera. I learned from Teresita Araneta-Macasaet, former director of JRP, that Lovina took after her mother.

Chiseled features

What made Prieto such an icon of style and grace?

Prieto was born in San Francisco on Jan. 1, 1920. Her father, a Filipino named Generoso Hernandez, was a lawyer but pursued his passion as a pianist in jazz clubs. Her mother was a Mexican named Marina. In her bestselling autobiography ?No Regrets,? published by Anvil, Prieto credited her mother as a major influence in shaping her values.

The family returned to the Philippines when she was in her teens. Her chiseled mestiza features and American accent landed her a job as an actress, with the screen name Yolanda Marquez. In the studio days, producers taught their stars visual poise and etiquette.

?As a movie star, she was always in the limelight, therefore she always had to look good,? said Lovina. ?The manners came with the clothes.?

In her autobiography, Prieto recalled how her mother acted as her chaperone on the set and protected her against the horrors of war. In 1944, she married athlete Leopoldo Prieto, and their marriage lasted for 65 years.

After the war, Prieto performed in the theater while building up her circle of friends. They were influential people such as Benigno Toda Jr., then president of Philippine Airlines and a quintessential jetsetter. As a Karilagan model, she also modelled for couturiers in the World?s Fairs.

Deportment

Fifteen years after our initial encounter, Prieto, then 81, granted me an interview for Philippine Tatler about her friendship with the late fashion legend Chona Recto Kasten.

Even at her home, Prieto portrayed the Old School deportment. She was clad in a simple but well-constructed dress in an elegant fabric with matching low pumps. For a finished look, she wore sheer stockings. Her back was straight and there were never any extraneous movements.

What struck me was her manner of speaking. Her words were well-chosen, and her English was well-enunciated. As she recounted her days with Kasten, Prieto?s intonations were subtly imbued with drama, never on a flat monotone.

Her sarcasm was elegantly expressed. Even in the most delicate questions, Prieto never evaded them but answered diplomatically. She was a master in the art of revealing and concealing.

The interview also revealed her fierce loyalty to her friends. When Kasten was penniless and battling cancer, Prieto gathered friends to provide moral and financial help. I left the interview awed by her commanding presence.

In 2004, I met her again at Makati Shangri-La?s Red restaurant. It was the first week of January and I was out of shape after the holidays. Prieto was having lunch with another grand dame, Consuelo ?Chito? Madrigal-Collantes ? Tita Chito, to many. It was typical of Tita Chito to comment that my cheeks looked puffy. Sensing my embarrassment, Prieto quickly complimented me and said I looked fine.

A month later, the three of us had lunch at the same venue. I saw another side of Prieto, who was warm and sunny. She was more casually dressed in a long-sleeved, printed shirt and dark slacks. Prieto and Collantes regaled me with stories about socials in their time. Collantes was a class act by herself, as was Prieto. But they were on two different planes.

Feline grace

Macasaet invited Prieto and Lovina to be faculty members of JRP. They both taught wardrobe, poise and social graces. Prieto?s students were mostly wives who wanted to be assets to their husbands.

She taught them table manners, how to entertain, how to conduct themselves in socials and how to converse.

?Mary was the life of the party. Men, young or old, would be drawn to her. She was articulate and conversant. I used to wonder what made her very expressive. Her having been an actress gave her that dramatic flair,? said Macasaet.

?She always said the right things at the right time to the right people. We only talked about fashion and school. Mary was never gossipy. That is the sign of a woman with self-respect.?

With her beautiful features and vivacious personality, Prieto didn?t need much of the externals such as bold jewelry or fashion-forward styles. Her fashion sense was American simplicity with liquid elegance. The clothes showed fluidity and fine workmanship.

At JRP, she wore tailored, collared shirts and basic skirts. For evening, she favored the black dress highlighted by pearls. She used colors, accessories, jewelry sparingly, believing that too much would overwhelm the personality.

?Mary showed elegant restraint and composure. You won?t find that in the younger generation of socialites who move about,? said photographer Jacinto, who has chronicled society?s high and mighty.

?The Prietos move like cats,? added Macasaet. ?That rubbed off on Mary, and Marylou moves with feline grace.?

Last time

Last Friday, I encountered the mother and the daughter again at the chapel in Santuario de San Antonio. Prieto died on Thursday, June 11, from pneumonia and its complications.

For so long, she had refused to eat, hence weakening her immune system. She went into a coma. Prieto?s family came to bid farewell. After her departure, she was immediately cremated. Some of the ashes were placed in a sculpted white and gold box. The rest would be given to her grandchildren.

There were two black-and-white photographs of Prieto in a fluid gown with a short jacket, reminiscent of Chanel, and in a tailored dress. Her portrait showed her signature style?a black, spaghetti-strapped gown with a sheer drape around her arms, clutching a strand of pearls.

Lovina was dressed in a white linen tailored shirt and a black skirt, simply accessorized by earrings and a fine, leather wristwatch. With hardly any makeup, her face was still beautiful.

Her eyes were moist, fighting back tears of grief and stress. The last months had been testy, and she needed some rest. But like her mother, she was calm, soft-spoken and gracious even in this most difficult of moments.

?My mother had the ability to turn the negative into something positive,? recalled Lovina.

Prieto was always light. If she was ever in a foul mood, she never showed it.

Like the proverbial chip off the old block, Lovina turned her quiet pain into a moment to serve others with grace.