MANILA, Philippines – I’ve realized, tennis is all about human desire and basic needs. Follow me on this.

First, the “fashionistas” who parade new designs aren’t averse to the extra publicity. Roger Federer sauntered out on court in a military-style jacket complete with waistcoat and trousers. Put a trombone in his hands and he’s ready to join a school marching band. Wait a minute, his hands were full with that flamboyant white and gold man-tote. I know some women who want to buy that bag.

Then Maria Sharapova shows up in a military jacket. She’s also in the same school marching band, you see. I thought she would relinquish her racquet and twirl a baton for you instead. I know several men who would want to have that baton. The women want to buy her jacket, too.

Women at Wimbledon are also lusting after Fernando Verdasco’s tawny sex appeal. He just has to flash his dimpled smile and the women fall to pieces. Several times I saw Verdasco accosted by screaming women demanding a piece of him. Once, after he’d graciously obliged a lucky few with photos, he left to screams of “You’re gorgeous!” The man simply smiled magnanimously. What a dreamboat.

Then there’s Marat Safin. Although he’s almost retired, it hasn’t diminished his sex appeal one bit. In fact, he’s got the relaxed and self-assured air of a man who’s been there, done that (and boy, has he done it all) and now has nothing to prove. So he leans back to enjoy the fruits, and legions of women falling at his feet, with a constant smirk that drives the women mad.
When the matches were going on simultaneously, several British women here insisted on swooning over Safin’s match, instead of supporting the great local hope that is Andy Murray.

Screamer

Don’t roll your eyes, guys. The men are no better. There was plenty of excitement over Michelle Larcher de Brito, the 16-year-old who screamed and grunted her way to the third round of the French Open. Although she was quiet at Wimbledon (apparently advised by her agents that it was not in her commercial interest to be a screamer a la Sharapova), the noisy, I mean nosy, journalists at her press conference asked her four questions about tennis, and 13 about her screaming.

Why does she do it, will she continue to do it, and how is she doing it? Despite the moderator’s attempts to bring it back to tennis, they prevailed. Michelle finally replied that if people don’t like her grunts, they can choose to leave, and if officials want to fine her, then go ahead, because she’d rather be fined than lose a match. I didn’t realize grunting was crucial to winning. Obviously James Blake and Marat Safin didn’t get the memo.

Meanwhile, Serena Williams didn’t get the memo that outside food cannot be brought into the players’ locker room. It’s been the rule for the last 10 years, but she’s been griping about it incessantly on Twitter. Something about there being Banana Kit Kats but she can’t eat them. So you see, in a way tennis is about food, desire and attention—just the basic needs of humankind.

Catch Georgina Chang on Star Sports’ coverage of Wimbledon until July 5. Visit www.espnstar.com for her exclusive player interviews.