NOTHING happens by coincidence. I think that the term ?God-incidence? is the more appropriate term.

A few days ago, I was invited to speak at the launch of a new anti-scar gel where Karylle was the product endorser. I was asked to speak on how to heal emotional scars. Apparently, the organizers felt I had something worthy to say, considering the life experiences I have had and the work that I do in grief education.

I decided to draw up six points people could use to heal emotional scars. It was an acronym, STRAPS, so they would remember it better.

When I got to the venue, I asked for the product information to see how to work it into my talk. When I read it, the product had six components that matched my six points.

Here are the six points I have found helpful in healing emotional scars:

Self-care is very important in the process of healing. One needs to get adequate rest, a healthy amount of sleep. Eat properly and exercise even if you don?t want to, because the endorphins released while working out have positive effects on one?s disposition.

That time heals all wounds is a fallacy per se. What you do with time helps you heal your wound. No one has the right to tell you to get over your loss in three or six months or one year. There is no prescribed period for grieving. As long as you are not harming yourself or the people you love, do what you need to do and take time to do it. Don?t wallow. Healing is a proactive process.

Reaching out to others is one of the most important tools I use in healing my emotional scars. In stepping out of the shadow of sadness, you are helping not only others, but yourself too. By comforting others who are hurting as well, your world broadens. Soon, you will realize that your pain is so small compared to the hurts of the world.

Arts therapy helps release emotions that have been blocked or buried due to the scar. Find a creative outlet you enjoy like writing, journaling, painting, music, poetry, pottery. There is something in the creative process that gives voice to what lies beneath, to the unspoken hurt. Sign up for a class or buy a book that can help you discover what art therapy is best for your situation.

Prayer and thanksgiving is another helpful component in the healing process. The happiest people in the world are those who are always grateful. Stop whining and complaining about your situation or surroundings. Count your blessings and thank Him for giving you another day to heal.

Support is an invaluable resource. Surround yourself with positive people who understand you and who are willing to be a witness to your pain. Find yourself a safe harbor where you can rest when the storms of life batter you. Anchor yourself on God but also find friends and family, or seek professional help to see you through the dark night.

As I was approaching the venue that morning, I felt a little blue, having to draw from the well of my experiences to be able to share something substantial with the audience. I was greeted by the sight of blown-up photographs of flowers in full bloom. Above them was the quote: ?The darkest nights blossom into the brightest mornings.? Another God-incidence to provide me the comfort I needed just before the talk. I?d like to think it was His way of telling me: ?Throw your blues out the window. Remember why you are here.?

E-mail the author at cathybabao@gmail.com.