IT?S BEEN many years now since he left my classroom. But to this day, I remember him clearly because he touched my life in a special way, expanding my understanding and inspiring me to advocate for others like him.

Miguel (not his real name) was a junior college student in my grief class at the Ateneo. He would sit in the front row and nonchalantly doze off from time to time, stare at the distance or blurt out his thoughts in the middle of my lecture. For some reason, in spite of his odd behavior, I could never find it in my heart to get mad at him or call attention to his sometimes bizarre antics. My mother?s instinct kicked in, and I knew there was something special about him. He wrote the most insightful reflection papers and they never failed to move me.

Towards the end of the semester, out of the blue, he told me he had Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). I was thankful I had never embarrassed him in class. I told him I was proud of the way he turned out and that he must have had wonderful parents to give him the support he needed to finish his course.

His final paper was about his condition, paying tribute to his parents and teachers who gave him unconditional love and support. Today, he is the assistant coach of a high school basketball team and I am so proud to see how far he has come.

Early intervention

Tet Gavina-Del Rosario, a special education specialist based in San Francisco, says early intervention is the key in managing and successfully helping a child with ADHD. Del Rosario, who herself has a child who was diagnosed with possible ADHD at a very early age, enrolled in a graduate course on SPED at the University of the Philippines so she could better help her son.

?It?s very important to be an observant parent. Nothing will come out of it if you deny the situation, you only make things more difficult for you and your child.?

Del Rosario says that after a proper assessment, behavior modification and sports can be a parent?s first line of defense.

?Sports can help them burn a lot of excess energy. In fact, before entering the classroom each day, I usually suggest some form of mild exercise just to loosen them up. And they are ready for the day.?

Temper meltdowns are often an issue with children who have been diagnosed with ADHD. A child undergoing a meltdown can be a very stressful experience for both the parent and child.

The online ADDitude magazine provides helpful tips for parents to help manage ADHD outbursts. The suggestions, given by Dr. Carol Brady, an ADHD specialist, may also be applied to any child, whether he has ADHD or not, undergoing a temper tantrum. Here are five of them:

1. Discuss potential letdowns in advance. Brady says that if your child realizes that potential disappointment is in store, he will be able to plan how to react. For example, if there is a book that your child wants to purchase at the bookstore but you know it?s out of stock, you can say, ?Last time we were there, the book was not available. I remember you got really disappointed. What do we do if you get disappointed today??

2. Acknowledge your child?s disappointment. Let your child know that you can see he is disappointed, and you understand why he feels that way. Show that you understand him and that you are there to help him through the problem.

3. Always have a ?Plan B.? Help your child realize that even if he doesn?t get his first choice, he may be satisfied with a second or even a third choice. When eating out, for example, and your child insists on having a cheese and mushroom pizza, and there is none, you can opt for a similar alternative (say, pepperoni and cheese) but explain ahead of time that this may happen and prevent an outburst at the dining table.

4. Use a carrot-and-stick approach to discourage outbursts. In the scenario described above, if your child accepts the pepperoni and cheese pizza peacefully, tell him that he can have an extra 30 minutes with the computer because he displayed good behavior.

5. Show your child how you deal with disappointment. Again, role-modelling plays an important part, whether or not your child has ADHD or not. Explain to him that life is not always fair and letdowns are expected. If he can see that you are patient and flexible in dealing with disappointments too, this is something that the child will easily imbibe and learn from you.

Powerful tool

Del Rosario also suggests getting in touch with other parents who are in a similar situation. ?Advocating for your child or for other children can be very helpful and powerful.? In the United States, she says, laws are in place because of the No Child Left Behind (NCLB) policy put in place by former President George Bush where all children have equal rights, especially those who have learning disabilities.

We have a long way to go here in terms of programs for children with ADHD, but because awareness has been created, parents have slowly become more open to having their children diagnosed. Early intervention and behavior modification are the keys. ?Medicate only when extremely necessary,? Del Rosario says.

In the Philippines, parents can seek guidance from the ADHD Society, located inside the Ateneo de Manila University (tel. 426-8568), on how to better manage their child with special needs.

Once in a while, I see Miguel lead his team on the basketball court and my heart expands in joy at his success. How far unconditional love and support have taken him. It takes a village to raise a child, special needs notwithstanding.

E-mail the author at cathybabao@gmail.com