There?s one not very popular song by Cole Porter that I?ve always liked. It?s called ?Miss Otis Regrets? and goes like this:

?Miss Otis regrets, she?s unable to lunch today, Madam/ Miss Otis regrets, she?s unable to lunch today/ She is sorry to be delayed/ But last evening down in lover?s lane she strayed, Madam/ Miss Otis regrets she?s unable to lunch today.

?When she woke up and found that her dream of love was gone, Madam/ She ran to the man who had led her so far astray/ And from under her velvet gown/ She drew a gun and shot her love down, Madam/ Miss Otis regrets she?s unable to lunch today.

?When the mob came and got her and dragged her from the jail, Madam/ They strung her upon the old willow across the way/ And the moment before she died/ She lifted up her lovely head and cried, Madam/Miss Otis regrets she?s unable to lunch today.?

There?s another extremely popular song sung by Tom Jones that I?ve never liked. It?s called ?Delilah? and goes like this:

?I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window/ I saw the flickering shadows of love on her blind/ She was my woman/As she deceived me I watched and went out of my mind./ My, my, my, Delilah/ Why, why, why, Delilah/ I could see that girl was no good for me/ But I was lost like a slave that no man could free.

?At break of day when that man drove away, I was waiting/ I crossed the street to her house and she opened the door/ She stood there laughing/ I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more. My, my, my Delilah/ Why, why, why Delilah./ So before they come to break down the door/ Forgive me Delilah I just couldn?t take any more.?

No one of course sings ?Miss Otis Regrets? in this country while everyone sings ?Delilah.? Which is the reason, quite apart from its lyrics, that I do not like the latter. It tumbles upon me like a flood from the banks of the loudspeakers of my neighbors? karaokes, their belters applying themselves to the refrain with Tom-Jonesy fortissimo.

I remembered those two songs after I read some of the reactions to Chavit Singson?s savage mauling of his wife, Che Tiongson, and her companion, notably from some of this country?s keepers of the peace. ?It?s his way of dealing with his rage at that time,? said Chief Supt. Pedro Tango. ?Dapat lang, kulang pa ?yong inabot nila (Well and good, they got less than they deserved),? said Supt. Gerardo Ratuita. ?Pag nahuli ko asawa ko na ganyan, dila lang ang walang latay (If I catch my wife that way, only her tongue will be unmarked),? said Nano Malilin, an entrepreneur.

Over the past weeks, I?ve read from newspapers and heard from TV/radio the various reactions of people, authority figures and non-authority figures alike, to the incident. The concern has largely been whether the ?crime? merited that scale of punishment, some saying the punishment exceeded the ?crime? and others like those above saying it fell short of it. In fact, where I stand the problem is simple. Which is: Would the same judgments apply if Che Tiongson had done exactly the same thing to Chavit Singson?

Would the same judgments apply if she had gone to the house of the deputy security chief with some goons and finding him to be cohabiting there with another woman ordered the goons to beat him up? No, more than beat him up, pistol-whip him and his companion again and again within an inch of their lives? And having done that exposed and belittled Chavit in public as a man of such contemptible morals he doesn?t deserve to get within a hundred yards of his children?

It?s unthinkable of course, not least because you cannot possibly get within a hundred yards of Chavit to wreak anything remotely like a beating upon him. Which adds to the oppression. But even if it were possible, would the reactions be the same? Would police superintendents be saying, ?It was Che?s way of dealing with her rage at the time,? ?Kulang pa nga yung inabot ni Chavit,? and ?Dapat dila lang n?ya ang walang latay??

Not at all. Everyone would be aghast and demanding that Tiongson be hanged from the nearest tree. Which is the reason ?Delilah? is exceedingly popular in this country and ?Miss Otis Regrets? exceedingly not so. It?s not just because ?Miss Otis? is subtler and ?Delilah? cruder musically?karaoke has a special fondness for the loud and vulgar?it is also because the sentiments of the latter are appreciated in this country and the former not so. A man murders his wife/partner/?my woman,? because of infidelity and the people of this country, men and women alike, sympathize with him and damn the two-timing she-devil to hell. A woman murders her husband/partner/significant other for infidelity and the people of this country, men and women, sympathize with the victim and damn the insanely jealous she-devil to hell.

Chavit?s reputation for being a stickler for marital fidelity is not exactly legendary. Nor is that of the average Filipino male. Hell, men boast about their infidelity all the time?it is the stuff of drinking sessions. And the devil take the hindmost, or the ?good boy? who gets to have his manhood or the capabilities of his tool ridiculed. Erap freely advertised his status, harboring a harem in his neighborhood. A woman does the same thing, or less, and the world comes down hard on her.

That is the point. It is not whether the punishment was commensurate to the crime?that is secondary?it is whether the punishment applies equally to Che, whose guilt we only have the word of Chavit on, and Chavit, whose guilt he parades openly before the world. Unless we are prepared to decree ?Iba ang lalaki,? then whatever ruthless exactions we apply to the women of this country, we must apply as well to its men.

Let?s see how many men will be walking around with only their tongues unmarked.