Dear Emily,

My problem is about my ex boyfriend whom I met in 2006 on the Internet.

We realized we were in love and from then on we had a long distance online relationship. It was my first serious relationship and I felt great. He promised he would meet me but it never happened because after a year he stopped communicating with me. My problem is when we were still lovers, we exchanged letters and I sent him all of my important pictures like my baby, family, elementary, high school and university pictures. Those are still with him today. I tried to e-mail him, I sent him messages, called him, but he never replied.

If you have readers from San Francisco, USA, please help me get those pictures from him.

thegirl_loves_truffles@yahoo.com

Firstly, stop saying this guy you met on the Internet was your “boyfriend,” or even “lover.” Apparently, you don’t know the meaning of either word. You may have been writing and calling each other day and night for a year—which many friends do—but this does not make you lovers. Sure, you must have flirted and told each other “I love you” unsparingly and incessantly all those months—but “lovers?” Naah! It takes more than words, or thoughts, or longings to graduate to that level. Even some couples who’ve had sex frequently can’t lay claim over that category until such time they deem they’re psychologically and emotionally ready for it.

Secondly, about the photographs you sent him—what were you thinking when you did it? That you’d endear yourself to him more? Or so he’d see how pretty you are? Or were you already subconsciously sending your stuff ahead of your joining him later on? He probably wanted to see some photos of you, but did you have to dump on him your entire life’s history?

Thirdly, you wanted anyone from San Francisco, California reading this column to help you retrieve your photos. How can you be helped when there aren’t names to start the search with. It’s like asking this entire village to help you look inside the haystack without telling them what to look for. You’ve been scolded enough. Now, grow up!

(Send your e-mail to emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph; Subject: Lifestyle)