MANILA, Philippines - We laugh, we cry, we wince, we gape, we just can?t look away.

While Marc Nelson and Rovilson Fernandez were sweeping through virtually all legs of ?The Amazing Race Asia,? the audience?s attention was riveted, not on the toned bodies and clever asides of the two guys or even the winsome charms of Thailand?s Paula Taylor, but on Henry and Terri, the retired US Navy Chief Petty Officer and his Filipina wife, who spiced up the series with their tempestuous, dysfunctional relationship.

Almost from the start of the race, Henry and Terri were bickering and bashing each other, expending as much, if not more, energy on their fights than on the race. Terri in the middle of a tantrum is a force of nature, curly hair flying in all directions, shouting herself hoarse and pacing back and forth, raining expletives on her husband of 13 years. More than once, Henry has broken down in the face of Terri?s verbal assaults, though he hasn?t been remiss in the tit-for-tat department himself.

We?re not complaining. H&T had promised fireworks when they introduced themselves to the audience, and their emotional pyrotechnics have certainly spiced up the rounds. My only complaint is that whenever Terri erupts in one of her volcanic temper tantrums, I?m left as drained and weary as Henry?or even Terri.

But we can?t wait for the next explosion. It?s like watching dark clouds on the horizon: You know a storm is about to break and you?re torn between staying to watch it hit land, or running for shelter.

Now that the couple has been eliminated from the race, we can only speculate on the state of the union of H&T. They have bared their souls on Asia-wide TV and revealed the weak links in their marriage. Should we be surprised at news of a divorce?

If that should come to pass, not a few of us, I bet, would gloat that we had seen it coming. It will confirm our worst fears and direst predictions for the couple, and will also give us an opportunity to congratulate ourselves for being ?normal.?

And that is why Henry and Terri had more adherents than the other competitive pairs in ?TARA.? When it comes to celebrity couplings, bad news is great news.

That explains our eagerness to follow the twists and turns in the months-long saga of the Battling Bektases, as Ruffa Gutierrez and Yilmaz Bektas traded insults and accusations, peppered with colorful Yilmaz-isms in badly translated Turkish. And when Annabelle Rama entered the picture, an already colorful story turned Technicolor. For a while there, we thought a happy ending was at hand when Yilmaz came to our shores for a brief visit, and there was wild speculation about a possible reconciliation. But such talks have since fizzled out, especially with Yilmaz?s departure. Perhaps romantic fatigue had set in?between them and among their weary audience, too.

In Hollywood, the paparazzi pet remains Brittany Spears and her bizarre behavior, from forgetting to wear underwear while clubbing, to driving with her infant son on her lap; from shaving her head during one drugged-out evening, to losing custody of her sons after she suffered a breakdown. Credit her with some self-awareness, at least, as her song ?Piece of Me? takes potshots at the public fascination for her, paying a left-handed compliment to the Philippines, even. The irony, not lost on many, is that these days she?s been seen on the arm of a paparazzo, one of the many who?ve been hounding her, yet another proof of her penchant for loving the wrong men.

But back home, nobody has quite grabbed our attention and curiosity as Kris Aquino has, both in the bad choices she has made as by the very public airing of her heartaches and breakups. We should by now be used to Kris? shocking revelations, though come to think of it, things have been quiet on the Kris front for quite a while. One wonders if it?s just because she?s learned her lesson about airing soiled linen, or if this time her marriage to cager James Yap has settled into rock-solid devotion.

There is a reason celebrity break-ups fascinate us so. Each time we hear of the dissolution of a marriage?or a romantic entanglement? involving people in the public eye, we shake our heads, cluck in mock sympathy, but deep down, we tell ourselves that we would never be as stupid, or careless, or unlucky.

Celebrities already enjoy the perks of nature?s largesse?beauty, wealth, talent (or its approximation), confidence and publicists?so it gives us ordinary beings a twinge of satisfaction to discover that they also get their comeuppance. And when their romances crash and burn, they do so in a blaze of publicity, splashed all over the tabloids, subject to the biting commentary of showbiz reporters. We can?t possibly think of a better way to right the balance.

Of course, we are happy when two good-looking famous faces pair up. We are titillated, thrilled at the fruition of our most fervent fantasies. But the truth is that we would be even happier if the fantasy romance comes crashing down to reality?spectacularly. The truth is that our own love lives are never perfect, because we are ourselves imperfect beings. And when two ?perfect? beings prove to be so bad at love, too, then we are comforted and, yes, a bit smug.