MANILA, Philippines – When Pinoys who haven’t seen each other for sometime unexpectedly meet again, the usual pleasantries include the inevitable comments on each other’s looks: “Uy, tumaba ka, a (hey, you’ve gained weight)!” we say smugly to the former prom queen. “Ang payat mo na (You’re so slim)!” we say, astounded, to the once-tubby guy who had a crush on us. “Ang ganda mo pa rin (you’re still gorgeous)!” we hope to hear, from the campus heartthrob everybody had a crush on.

Filipinos are preoccupied with looking good. Whether it’s for ourselves or for others, we take notice and we take action. We spend a great part of each day trying to create and maintain a better version of ourselves. Most of us begin with morning ablutions that prepare the body to become a fresh and clean canvas to start the day with. We choose clothes that fit and flatter. Throughout the day, we take time for touch-ups. At every opportunity, on every reflective surface, we check if our hair is in place and if our teeth are clean. In the evening, we take off all traces of the day’s work and wear before retiring to bed.

We spend a great deal of money on beautifying, slimming and age-defying products and procedures. It can be as cheap as using the ubiquitous kalamansi (native lemon) or tawas (alum) to whiten one’s underarms, or as prohibitive as cosmetic surgery to modify what genetics (“No, really, we’re big-boned,”) or poor lifestyle choices (“Blueberry cheesecake does not count as a serving of fruit?!?”) have condemned us to.

It used to be that only the rich who can afford the most expensive treatments and products, had the license to busy themselves with being or transforming into beautiful. These days, with products, services and procedures priced more democratically, it would seem there’s no more excuse to look old, fat and dowdy.

But why are good looks so crucial to Filipinos these days? The constant media and marketing pressure partly explains it. Over the past few years, we’ve seen more and more demands to alter our looks to conform to a single, unyielding standard. There are more skin-whitening products in the market, more ads and billboards featuring unusually thin, half-naked male and female models with six-pack abs, more accessible fashion and beauty products imported from neighboring Asian countries.

And then again, conforming to popular ideas of beauty does have its merits. Studies have shown that attractive people have an advantage over Plain Joes and Janes. Their good looks make for a strong first impression as they are believed to be kind, competent and intelligent. Psychologists call it the “halo effect.” Now if that’s what you get when you buy that pot of moisturizer, who isn’t buying?

But there’s really much more to it than that. Filipinos attach a special significance to the external (labas) and ever-changing look because of its inherent link with the internal and immutable (loob). We take pains to present ourselves as clean, proper and beautiful individuals to try and express our own perceived kalinisan, kabutihan and kagandahang-loob (good internal traits). We are, as a people, often unwilling to speak well of ourselves; and it is through our body and how we present it that we announce our goodness, our diligence, our sense of responsibility and respect for ourselves and others.

Another motivation is directed towards the self, and not for the benefit of pleasing or communicating with others. We care about our looks because we want to care for ourselves. With the many stressful problems we face each day, one of the ways we cope is by caring for our body. The daily routine, the special rituals, the occasional indulgence all help to make us feel comforted, cared for and loved (You know you’ve hit rock bottom when you’re too tired, too busy, or don’t even care to brush your teeth before going to bed.). Going to the spa, buying luxurious clothes, exercising, doing something just for sheer pleasure and comfort help to combat stress and create a more positive self-regard and outlook in life. After all, life can’t be all bad if you can still get yourself massaged and aroma-therapied to oblivion once in a while.

Some people will spend a lot of time and money on making themselves look better than they feel. Others, in these difficult times, will do with the bare minimum (i.e. taking showers and brushing their teeth). Well, it doesn’t really matter all that much because whatever you do, whatever levels of attractiveness you attain, you can only be as beautiful as your words and your actions. No halos necessary.

Michelle G. Ong teaches psychology at the UP Department of Psychology. As a busy mother to a seven-month old, she occasionally finds herself unable to even brush her teeth before bedtime.