EVERY tribute was a sad lament over the loss ? too soon ? of a life so full and fulfilled, so rich and enriching.

And there were many such tributes in the days of shock and grief immediately following the demise of Francis Magalona, aka Francis M. The Pinoy music scene had lost its Master Rapper; the cinema world, a much-loved son, and the Filipino youth, an idol, a patriot of their generation.

But Maxene Magalona ? along with her seven siblings ? lost her father. Days, weeks and months after, even if recalling the words from eulogies and accolades for Francis M bring some comfort, it is the voice of her Papa, the hugs and kisses he would spring on her, that she constantly longs for.

?He called me Xenie-Bop ? he was the only one who used that nickname,? she says wistfully. ?He would make lambing to all of us ? and that?s what I miss the most. He would ask for a hug or a kiss for no other reason than he wanted one.?

Maxene is the eldest of Francis? six children with wife Pia. He has adopted Pia?s two older children.

?Everyone knows Papa as the playful and barkada-type father because he really was just like one of the kids. We used to tease him that Mama was bringing up not just eight kids but nine, including him,? Maxene recalls. ?But what people don?t know is that despite his playfulness, he took fatherhood very seriously.?

He was a fun parent, but discipline was important to Francis, shares his daughter, and all the eight children were aware of that. He was serious when it came to showing affection for his children, and he thoroughly enjoyed having them come to him for help in their studies.

?He was very helpful with our school work. Whenever we?d ask him something, he had a ready answer. He was very, very intelligent and insightful. He loved helping us out with our projects in school, especially in Filipino, Science, and History.?

But though very much an involved parent, her Papa also knew when to step back and let his kids make their own decisions, Maxene adds. ?When it came to the activities and careers that we wanted to pursue, he would advise us but leave the final decision to us. He was always 100 percent supportive, always giving us advice regarding our work and the dreams we wished to achieve.?

It was to her Papa that she turned to for advice when she decided to enter show business herself, Maxene shares. After all, Francis M had been in the business himself for the past 20 years. ?With [my younger sister] Saab, it was advice on singing and acting, since she had just begun her showbiz career. With Frank it was about designing t-shirts and different kinds of artworks since Papa was a very creative artist.?

These simple but very insightful talks ?really influenced and inspired us to do what we all wanted to,? Maxene adds.

Despite a seemingly high-profile and hectic lifestyle for a multi-talented guy, Francis always had time for his family and for the simple joys that enriched their life together ? and this is what she misses most, she muses. ?It?s really the simple things ? our eating out, watching movies together and playing games ? that I long for. We were a very simple family. Small things can instantly make us extremely happy!?

Maxene admits that though they shared fun times together, they were not without arguments and disagreements, which is normal in any family. But, she says, her Papa would always find a way to work things out.

?I admit that we also had our fights. But in the end, I?d listen to whatever it is that he had to say because after all, he was the parent and he knew what was best for me. And I trusted him,? Maxene reveals.

The hardships tested and revealed Francis?s true mettle as a father and as a person. When the worst news came about her father?s acute myelogenous leukemia, she was still hoping for the best, Maxene recalls, buoyed up by the sight of her Papa still standing strong, gallant, and jolly despite the pain and torment.

?Because he was always so positive and strong all throughout, I honestly thought that he would get better. I was able to accept the fact that he was sick because of his strength and courage. I could see that he was very brave and that really made me so happy,? Maxene says.

And so she was totally unprepared for the eventuality of her Papa losing his ?happy battle? on March 6 this year. Maxene confesses that she could not believe it at first. ?I kept hoping that he would get well, and when he passed on, it was much, much harder for me to accept. I was crying and crying and crying and I just couldn?t believe that he was really gone. There were times when I?d ask, ?Wala na ba talaga si Papa [Is Papa really no longer here]?? I couldn?t accept it,? Maxene declares.

What made her eventually accept Francis?s passing, she says, was the realization that he would no longer have to endure all the suffering he had gone through.

?When I look back and remember how he was always in so much pain towards the end, I became thankful somehow because he?s not suffering anymore," she sighs.

?I don?t think I?m ever going to accept the fact that he?s gone, I just have to learn to live with it. And I?m fine with that because I don?t want to let go. Ever.? ?